Sorores
by kay4today
Summary: Heaven's Feel AU. What if instead of Shirou, Rin had found Sakura in the rain? Rin x Sakura. Rated M for mature themes including sexual content in later chapters.
1. Rain

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything related to Fate/Stay Night. If I did, then I probably wouldn't write fanfiction about it. xD

**Author's Note: **So, this is my first fic. Well, the first one that I decided to publish here anyway. So... oh my, what am I supposed to say here? Um... have fun? Yeah, that sounds good. Have fun! Well, I hope you do anyway. xD

* * *

'His house.'

Rin Tohsaka knew the girl had to be there. She knew it even before she left the church. She knew it even before the fake priest's last mocking words left his lips. Rin gritted her teeth.

'Damn Kirei.'

But she couldn't help but feel gratitude at how he had treated her sister. Maybe Kirei Kotomine wasn't really as bad as she thought he was. ... Apart from his obvious amusement at their situation anyway.

'Damn Kirei.'

Rin shook her head. This wasn't the time to think about him. She had to find her before Shirou did. Why didn't this idiot understand that it needed to be done? This wasn't the time to play hero. Wh-

The black-haired girl fell. It was kind of inevitable. Running through the rain at top speed wasn't exactly a safe thing to do, but she was in a hurry! Groaning in pain, Rin picked herself up. Then she saw her.

'What is she doing there?' Rin thought. This was strange. She could have sworn the other girl would run to Shirou's house as fast as she could. She didn't expect her to be under the bridge. But there she was, just standing around. She didn't even move. Taking a deep breath, Rin started walking towards her younger sister.

XXX

"Sakura."

Rin was surprised at how emotionless her voice suddenly sounded, but she paid it no mind. She had to be like this, if she wanted to... do it. She looked at the younger girl.

Sakura Matou was completely soaked. And she didn't seem to acknowledge Rin's presence. She was merely staring at the ground. Was she waiting? Waiting for her death?

'Do it.'

Rin just stood there and looked at her younger sister. Sakura's fingers tightly clutched her skirt. She was shaking now.

"Do it."

Sakura's voice was as emotionless as Rin's. The older girl licked her lips. Despite the rain, she found her lips to be very dry at the moment.

'You heard her. Do it.'

"Please..." Sakura's voice broke. She was trembling, although Rin didn't know the exact reason. Was it the cool night air and the rain? Fear? Perhaps desperation? "You know what's going to happen, don't you? Soon... soon I will be too d-dangerous... a-and I..." Sakura didn't finish her sentence. She was looking at the ground again, hugging herself. "I just want it to end..."

"Shut up." Rin was surprised at the calmness of her voice, but again told herself to not pay it any mind. She was a top-class magus after all. "If you want to die so badly, then why not just do it yourself?" she asked in a somewhat mocking tone.

Sakura flinched. "I... can't." She stared at the ground as if she was ashamed. "But you can... y-you can do it. Please..." Sakura looked Rin directly in the eyes for the first time. "I beg you. As your s-sister..."

'DO IT NOW!'

Rin raised her hand. She aimed at Sakura's head. The younger girl smiled slightly. It wasn't a happy smile. Rin knew the emotion behind that smile. Resignation. The purple-haired girl closed her eyes.

"Will it hurt?"

"No, it will be over in an instant." Rin paused. Then she added: "Do you want to say something before I do it?" Sakura looked at her. Her older sister's eyes looked cold and distant. The younger girl's face wasn't wet only because of raindrops. She was crying.

"I'm sorry. I know. I k-know that I'm selfish. I know t-that I'm a coward. I know t-that I'm a liar. I know that I-I'm a crybaby. I-I know that I deserve more than j-just a quick and painless death, b-but I just d-don't want to..." Sakura bit her lips. She closed her eyes again. "I just don't want to feel p-pain anymore. I just want it to end." she whispered. "I'm sorry, s-sister..."

Rin's first instinct was to tell the younger girl to stop it with her self-loathing, but then decided against it. This would have been pointless anyway.

'She called me her sister'

Rin ignored that thought. She aimed at Sakura's head again. Several seconds passed.

"C-Can I ask you for something s-selfish first?" her younger sister asked. Sakura took the silence as a yes. She started at the ground once again. "Would you... p-please..." Sakura stopped. It seemed like she was fighting an internal battle. "If it's not..." She stopped again.

"Sakura, either make your request or shut up."

Sakura flinched at the cold voice. "I'm sorry..." Sakura stepped closer to Rin and looked her directly in the eyes. Mustering up all the bravery she had, Sakura asked:

"Would you p-please... hold me b-before...?" Sakura looked at the ground in shame. She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Just for a few seconds..." She looked at Rin. "P-Please..."

Something inside Rin broke. She looked at her younger sister. Sakura didn't see any coldness in her sister's eyes anymore. There was a completely different emotion in them now. No one has ever looked like that at her before.

"It's okay, s-sister. It was a selfish r-request. You d-don't ne-"

"Shut up." Rin snapped at her. She sounded angry. "I owe you at least that much..." Sakura blinked. Had her sister suddenly sounded... warm? Maybe even regretful? Sakura shook her head. She must have imagined it.

"You don't owe me a-anything... it's not your fault that I'm so..." Again, Sakura didn't finish her sentence. Not that she needed to. She was fairly sure her sister knew what she was trying to say. She looked at the ground again.

"... You are an idiot, you know that?" Rin's soft voice made Sakura look up. Her older sister's face was only inches apart from her own. "Don't say such stupid things..."

Rin embraced her. She knew this would make it even harder, but it was the least she could do for Sakura. The younger girl was shaking. Rin could feel Sakura pressing herself against her body. She bit her lip as Sakura's nails dug in her flesh. The younger girl was craving for this, that much was obvious. Rin closed her eyes and held Sakura even tighter. They stood like this for several minutes.

Rin wondered where Shirou was. Did he stay at the church? No. He probably ran right after her. 'Well, it seems like he's not even a match for me when it comes to running.' she thought somewhat smugly. She opened her eyes and looked at Sakura's wet hair. 'What a ridiculous hair color.'

"Hey... s-sister?" Sakura's whisper was gentle-sounding. Rin smiled.

"Yeah..." Rin closed her eyes again, her smile growing wider before she added: "... sister?"

Sakura made an odd choking sound and pressed her shaking body even harder against Rin's. "Y-You just called me..."

"Yes, I know." Rin simply said. "I know what I said. But didn't you want to ask me something?"

"Y-Yes..." Sakura answered. "Why? Why didn't you kill me the moment you saw me? Why... have you d-decided to talk to me f-first...?" Rin's answer was immediate.

"Because I owe it to you."

Sakura was confused. "O-Owe me what?"

"Everything."

Rin's honest statement made Sakura shake even more. She started to cry in her shoulder. "S-Sister..." Her voice broke and died away in deep, choking sobs.

Rin knew she had to stop it now. She couldn't afford to feel too much for her younger sister now. It had to be done. Shirou was able to lie to himself. Foolishly clinging to the hope that Sakura could be saved. Rin Tohsaka was no fool.

"Sakura."

The younger girl dug her nails even deeper in Rin's flesh. The older girl winced.

"Sakura."

But her sister merely hugged her even tighter. Rin's arms were hanging by her side now. She could free herself easily if she wanted to. Sakura was weaker than her.

"Sakura."

It was final. Sakura could hear it in her voice. Any longer, and her older sister would use violence. But Sakura still didn't intend to let go. She couldn't.

"Sister."

It was the gentle tone in Rin's voice, along with the... word that made Sakura finally let go. She took a step back. "I'm sorry..." she weakly offered, still crying.

"Don't be." Rin could feel hot tears burning in her eyes, but she refused to let them out. 'A true magus does not cry.' She licked her lips.

"I... wish Emiya would have found you first."

"I don't." Sakura was smiling now, tears flowing out of her eyes. "At least I... got to spend some time with my sister..."

Rin aimed at her sister's head again. Her hand was shaking now.

"Do you think we... might have been friends if we had met under different circumstances... or even as close as... sisters?" Sakura asked.

Rin's hand was glowing now. She kept her hand steady. Tears streamed down her face, along with raindrops. Thoughts about things like true magi were long forgotten. Rin smiled softly.

"Yes. I'm sure of that."

Sakura's smile grew wider. It even reached her crying eyes. She closed them.

"I'm glad..."

* * *

**Author's Note: **The ending is supposed to be ambiguous on purpose. You can decide yourself whether you think Rin killed her or not. I hope you liked the story. Or that it at least was worth reading in a way. ^_^

Ah, and reviews would be awesome. Criticism is always welcome. But don't go easy on me!

Oh my... what am I supposed to do at the end? Um... bye? Have a nice day! xD


	2. Decision

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything related to Fate/Stay Night. If I did, then I probably wouldn't write fanfiction about it. xD

**Author's Note: **Well, I actually didn't intend to continue this story, but I will do it anyway! Thanks again to Nav, for actually reviewing my story! Although I already posted a review that responds to his review. Hey, don't look at me like that! I don't know how else I can answer to it! ... Except for um... now, of course. But I didn't think I would write a second chapter. So yeah... oh god, I fail. xD

Anyway, here is the second chapter!

* * *

The rain stopped.

Sakura opened her eyes. Her older sister was still aiming at her. Rin wasn't crying anymore, although her face was still wet from both raindrops and tears. Sakura noticed that her sister's breath was white. The younger girl shuddered. It really _was_ cold. Freezing, even. Was that the reason why Rin's arm was shaking again? Sakura doubted it.

"Sister, if you don't do it..." Sakura's voice didn't rise above a mere whisper. "I will hurt you. Or maybe even worse..." she gazed at the night sky. "I don't want to hurt you..."

"Then why not just kill yourself?!" Rin's snapped at her angrily. "Huh?! Are you too much of a coward to do it yourself?!" Rin laughed bitterly. "You're so fucking selfish. You might be able to fool other people with your little act, but not me. I know exactly what kind of person you are, _sister._" she snarled. "Poor, innocent little Sakura. So weak and helpless. But I'm not even going to start with that. You know all of this yourself anyway, don't you?" Rin growled. "You know what? Why don't you just go up there?" she pointed at the bridge. "Why not just go up there and jump? Huh?!"

"I..." Sakura was staring at the ground during Rin's whole speech. "I... just can't..." Rin gritted her teeth. She took a few steps forward and slapped Sakura's face. The younger girl's head moved sharply to the right.

Rin suddenly clasped her hands in front of her mouth. "S-Sakura..." she began, feeling ashamed of herself.

"It's okay, sister..." Sakura said quietly. She turned her face to Rin. Her eyes looked lifeless. "I deserved it." The younger sister hugged herself and added: "I'm sorry..."

Rin blinked. "Sorry?" she sounded angry again. "For what? Are you seriously apologizing for this? _I_ slapped _you_." she pointed at herself and then at the other girl for emphasis.

Sakura smiled. "Yes, but only because I made you angry enough to do so."

Rin stared at the purple-haired girl. "What did those people..." Sakura looked at the ground, suddenly finding her shoes apparently very interesting. Rin stepped forward and gently touched Sakura's red cheek. Sakura gasped in surprise at the sudden contact. She looked up and found aqua blue eyes looking back at her. "I'm so sorry for hitting you." her older sister spoke softly. "Don't you dare apologize to a person that hit you _ever_ again. Do you understand?" Sakura could only nod at Rin's sudden sharp tone. "Good." her sister sounded satisfied. Sakura smiled and closed her eyes.

"Your hand feels warm..." she spoke softly

"Eh?" Rin blinked dumbly. She didn't realize that she was still touching Sakura's cheek. She quickly removed her hand as if Sakura's skin was as hot as lava.

"I didn't mean to embarrass you. I'm sorry." Sakura sounded sligthly ashamed. Rin sighed.

"Stop apologizing." she all but commanded. "Not everything that happens on the planet is your fault. And it's starting to get on my nerves too."

Sakura looked on the ground. "I guess I'm just used to apologizing a lot... I'm sorry." Rin groaned in frustration. "Oh!" the younger girl's eyes widened in surprise. "I-I guess I did it again. I'm so-" she stopped herself and sighed. "I'll just shut up now..." Sakura said with a resigned tone.

"I swear..." Sakura looked up in surprise and worry. Rin was sounding beyond furious. "Zouken will pay for everything he's done to you." she hissed. Her older sister was clenching her hands so hard that blood had started to ooze out from under her nails.

"I swear it on m-"

"It's okay, sister." Sakura interrupted her. "It's okay..." she repeated. "You don't have to swear on anything..." Rin looked like she wanted to say something, but then inhaled sharply. She turned around. Sakura blinked in confusion. But then she noticed him as well.

"Hello, Emiya." Rin calmy said.

XXX

"Tohsaka." he nodded at her. His voice sounded exhausted and his face was pale. He was panting as well. Shirou looked at Sakura, then back at Rin. Finally, his eyes fell on Sakura again.

"Sakura." he smiled slightly. "Are you alright? Did she... try to hurt you?" he managed to get out before coughing slightly. Sakura looked at the ground. She didn't know what to say.

"I'm not going to kill her."

Sakura's eyes widened. She looked at her older sister in shock. Then she turned to look at Shirou. He looked just as surprised as she felt at her sister's words. "B-But sister!" she protested. "I'm going to become..." she didn't finish her sentence.

"There is still time." Rin said, but didn't sound sure of herself at all. "And we might even succeed in getting the Grail." that sounded even more unsure. Despite the tone of her voice, Shirou smiled.

"So, does that mea-"

"Yes, Emiya." Rin interrupted him. "I'm going to help you. We're going to save Sakura. Although it would greatly increase our chances if we had Saber with us." Shirou flinched.

A minute of awkward silence passed. Shirou looked at Sakura. Then at Rin. "So..." he began awkwardly. "What's going to happen now?" he asked. It was a good question. Rin shrugged.

"Go home. You should be safe there. You're not a Master anymore after all." she suggested, feeling slightly guilty at the brief look of hurt that flashed across Shirou's face. 'He really took a liking to Saber, huh?'

"And what about Sakura?" Shirou asked, worry clear in his voice. "Is she going to live with you from now on?" Rin nodded.

"For the duration of the Grail War, yes. Or would you prefer if I left her under that fake priest's care?" she asked. Shirou paled. Kotomine Kirei may have sacrificed his magic circuits to treat Sakura, but he still didn't trust him. Furthermore, leaving Sakura in Kotomine's care was not something he could do to the poor girl.

"I could..." he didn't finish his sentence.

"You could take her in with you, yeah." Rin admitted. "Would she be safe with you though? Zouken may be smart enough to watch your house." Shirou sighed.

"Do you think she would be safe under your care?" he asked. Rin nodded confidently. Shirou eyed her suspiciously.

"Swear it."

"Excuse me?"

"Swear that you won't harm her in any way."

"If I wanted to kill her, she would be dead already."

"It doesn't matter. Swear it."

Rin glared at him. "Fine." she finally said, her features softening. "I swear that I will not harm Sakura in any way. And that I will take good care of her, of course." she grinned. "I'm a good hostess, you know?"

Shirou smiled brightly. "Thank you, Tohsaka." he said. "I knew you wouldn't kill her." Rin mumbled something incoherently, but the boy ignored it.

Shirou suddenly looked like he forgot something important. "Err..." Rin raised an eyebrow. "Something wrong?" she asked.

The boy looked awkwardly behind Rin. "Maybe we should ask Sakura what she thinks of all of this too..." he said. Rin turned around.

Sakura had been completely still during the whole conversation. Not a sound left her lips. She stared at her two would-be saviors. "Why...?" her whisper was barely audible. "Why would you do all of this for me?"

Shirou opened his lips, but Rin gestured him to stop. "Goodnight, Emiya. Sakura and I will see you tomorrow." Shirou wanted to protest, but then stopped when Rin shook her head. "Don't." she just said.

Almost a minute passed. Finally, the young boy nodded. "Goodnight, Sakura. Tohsaka." he paused and then added: "I'll see you two tomorrow. Alive and well." his tone grew sharp. "Right, Tohsaka?"

"Right." Rin answered calmly.

The boy nodded again. "Take care." he said and then turned to leave.

"Wait." Shirou turned around and looked at Rin.

"What is it?"

Rin looked to her left. "Archer." she called out. Her Servant suddenly appeared at her left. "Protect Emiya until he gets home. Just in case." The white-haired man sighed, but nodded.

"That won't be..." Shirou began, but then seemed to think for a moment. "Thank you." he simply said.

Rin smirked. "Try not to kill each other, please."

Archer and Shirou looked at each other. "I won't promise anything." both said dryly at the same time.

"What about you two though?" Shirou asked. "It'll be dangerous without your Servant."

"It's okay." Sakura suddenly said. Three heads turned to look at her. "I called for Rider..."

Rin smiled. "Good. That should be enough to get us back home safely."

"Good." Archer said. "How about we get going now? I don't want to have to endure this fool's presence any longer than necessary." he said, a slight smile on his lips.

Shirou scowled. "Alright, see you two tomorrorw." He waved at them.

"Take care." Rin said.

"Goodbye..." Sakura whispered.

The sisters watched as Archer vanished and Shirou walked out of sight.

XXX

"So..." Rin looked somewhat awkwardly at her younger sister. "I'll lead the way?" Sakura smiled wildly. It took some time for her to register it, but she was actually going to live with her sister. And her sister was going to help her, along with senpai. Maybe she could really be... Sakura closed her eyes and shook her head. Hope was foolish. It was bad. It hurt. She couldn't help but thank back to uncle Kariya. Uncle Kariya promised to save her. He promised to bring her to her mother and sister. He promised it would be just like back when she was still a Tohsaka. And she hoped uncle Kariya was going to keep his promise, and she almost believed him. But he didn't keep his promise. His body eventually just gave out from the strain of grandfather's worms and he died. He fell into the pit of worms with a satisfied smile on his face. Sakura wondered what his last thoughts were, but told herself it didn't matter anyway. Uncle Kariya was obviously not in his right mind at the time of his death.

Still... maybe her sister could really do it. Maybe she could really save her. There was a slight possibiltiy at least. After all, Rin Tohsaka was perfect in everything she did. But Sakura would not hope for anything. Hope was for the foolish. Shaking her head, she looked up from the ground. Rin looked at her strangely. "Are you coming?" she asked. "It's freezing out here. Come on, I want to get out of those wet clothes. Winning the Grail War will be hard if we catch a flu." she laughed at the ridiculous thought. Sakura giggled slightly as well. The purple-haired girl looked at the black-haired one, a small smile on her face.

"Geez..." Rin said annoyed. She suddenly grabbed Sakura's right hand. "Come on. Or do I have to drag you along?" Sakura just looked at her older sister's face again. Rin couldn't help but smile. For the first time she could remember, Sakura looked happy.

The younger girl blushed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, sister. I got lost in my thoughts, I guess..."

Rin groaned. "I thought I told you to stop apologizing for everything." Sakura just nodded sheepishly, obviously trying not to apologize again. "Let's get going, then." the older girl said.

The two sisters started walking towards the Tohsaka mansion hand in hand, both lost in their own thoughts.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Reviews would be awesome! If only to point out grammar and/or spelling mistakes! Well, okay! Those reviews wouldn't bother me, but please write something besides pointing out how much I fail at English. Please. If you want to review the story anyway! I-It's not like I want reviews or anything... G-GEEZ! I just felt like saying it, that's a-all! D-Dummy!

I hope you enjoyed the chapter! And yes, there will be Rin x Sakura in later chapters. Although incest kinda freaks me out, I'll try to overlook it. Mostly because Rin x Sakura is a really cute pairing.

Have a lovely day! And please check out my favourite authors and stories on my profile page as well. If you like Harry Potter, Naruto and Lyrical Nanoha, that is!


	3. Home

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything related to Fate/Stay Night. If I did, then I probably wouldn't write fanfiction about it. xD

**Author's Note: **So... third chapter now! Just for your information... the main pairing will be Rin x Sakura, but I won't bash Shirou or anything. I rather like him as a character. And I hate character bashing and try not to do it. Even with character I don't even like. And now I'll adress my reviewers!

** Ronh Mary: **No worries, my English isn't perfect either. And yeah, I wish there were more interactions between the two of them as well. I find them so cute together. And you probably meant for me to continue the story. xDD No worries, I will. Thanks for the review. :)

** fatelocks: **I try my best to keep them in-character, thank you. And ha, yeah. I thought so too. I try my best to finish what I've started as well. Thank you for the review. :) PS: Irisviel x Saber _rocks_!

** animerose11: **I'll probably mention some more stuff about Fate/Zero in later chapters. And yeah, I think Kariya was sadly part of the reason why Sakura... you know. Thanks for the review. :)

And now for the chapter! Enjoy.

**EDIT: **Thanks for pointing out that paragraph stuff out, Godlybunny. I changed it as soon as I've read your review. I'll adress the rest of your review when I bring my next chapter out. :)

* * *

Shirou Emiya didn't know how to feel. On the one hand, he was incredibly relieved that Tohsaka wasn't able to go through with killing her younger sister. That the two sisters seemed to get along somewhat well (if a little awkward) was a very good thing as well. But on the other hand, he was still pretty worried about Sakura and the condition she was in.

Winning the Grail War wasn't such a ridiculous thought anymore though. Tohsaka and Archer were a strong duo. While he didn't know the extent of Sakura's abilities, he _did_ know that Rider was much stronger under Sakura than she was under Shinji. She even managed to fight on par with Archer. The non-magus really did hold her back. And then there were Ilya and her Servant, Berserker. Ilya said they would be allies. And he fully believed her, although he couldn't deny that her Servant made him feel a tad uneasy and that trusting her so easily might have been foolish.

There weren't many enemies left. Caster and her Master were killed rather early. Lancer died soon after them, which caused Kotomine to stop pursuing the Grail. Or so he said. Shinji was a non factor. Zouken and Assassin were dangerous, but shouldn't pose much of a problem to 3 Servants and 2 skilled magi. And Sakura. 'And myself.' Shirou thought. 'Although I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I can only do some strengthening magic.' He sighed. He might have been rather useless to his allies, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try his best. For Sakura. For Saber. For all of the people in this town. For Ki-

"Ow!" Shirou groaned in pain. He was so deep in thought that he ran into a wall. The boy blinked. Apparently, he already reached the Emiya household. "Alright." he said. "Archer, you can go back to Tohsaka now."

The white-haired Servant appeared before him. "Oh? Are you sure?" he asked. "I could bring you safely to the door to ensure you won't run into some more dangerous walls on the way." Archer smirked.

Shirou scowled at him, but then he just looked confused. "You look irritated." he remarked. "Do I bother you more than usual?"

Archer looked at him for a while, and then sighed. "Not only you." he said. "I don't like this. The girl should be killed. Something tells me that letting her live is a terrible mistake." Shirou glared at him.

"You better not try anythi-"

"I won't." Archer interrupted him. "I don't agree with your decision, but killing Rin's sister could have... some nasty consequences. Convincing her is out of the question as well." the Servant grinned. "I swear, Rin was probably a mule in her previous life."

Still looking at him with suspicion, Shirou nodded. "Thanks for protecting me on my way home."

Archer snorted. "Think nothing of it. I was just carrying out my Master's order. No more, no less." They glared at each other.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow." Shirou finally said after a short pause. He turned around and started walking towards his house.

"Hey!" Archer called out. Shirou turned his face to him.

"Yeah?"

"Look out for walls." Archer grinned and vanished before Shirou could respond. The boy scowled again.

"Bastard."

XXX

The walk to the Tohsaka mansion was quiet. The sisters were lost in their thoughts and thus didn't speak much. Both girls were still soaking wet and rather cold. One more than the other. Sakura shuddered a bit. She was still holding her sister's hand. She wanted to get out of her clothes not only because they were wet, but also because she felt extremely hot at the moment. 'Oh no, not now...' Sakura tried to control herself. She knew what was happening to her and she knew she needed_ it_ soon. Very soon. The thought that Rin would most likely be very disgusted with her was enough to control herself. She took a deep breath.

"We're here." Rin stopped before the mansion along with Sakura. She let go off Sakura's hand and fumbled in her pockets. The younger girl sighed in relief. The less contact the better. Apparently having found the right key, Rin went ahead. Sakura followed her sister as the latter unlocked the door and stepped inside. She held it open for her. The purple-haired girl stepped inside the mansion, for the first time in a long while.

"Welcome home." Rin said softly and smiled at her. Sakura couldn't help but smile back. She closed her eyes.

"I'm home..."

XXX

Sakura sighed contentedly as she was lying in her sister's bathtub, only her face poking out of the water. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so content. The water was warm and she neither felt cold nor uncomfortably hot. Sakura smiled. She glanced at the clothes lying on the washing machine that her sister gave her. Sakura's cheeks flushed pink when she thought back to the awkardness of having to explain that her sister's bras didn't fit her. She eventually just said she would be fine with having no bra for a day and they decided to buy some underwear tomorrow. But first...

"Rider." Sakura called out to her Servant. The woman immediately materialized to her right.

"Yes, Sakura?" her voice sounded gentle. Rider seemed to be satisfied that her Master felt content. She even had a small smile on her face.

"Did anyone follow us?"

Rider shook her head. "No." Then she added: "Not that I know of."

Sakura nodded. She sighed softly. "Thank you, Rider. You may de-materialize now."

"No, Sakura. A Servant's duty is to obey their Master. There is no need to thank me."

Without giving Sakura a chance to respond, Rider vanished. The girl closed her eyes and sighed. "Thank you nonetheless..."

XXX

"Thanks, Archer." Sakura heard her sister say while she was approaching the living room. There was no audible response, so Sakura assumed the Servant merely nodded. She entered the living room and looked at the duo. Her sister wore different clothes and was brushing her hair. Sakura blinked. 'How long did I take?' she wondered.

The Servant's eyes immediately bore into her own as soon as she entered the room. Sakura felt uneasy. He almost seemed... hostile. The white-haired man frowned. Rin, on the other hand, grinned at her. "My clothes fit you pretty well." she remarked. "You look better than before too." Sakura smiled at her sister and tried to ignore the man's stare as well as she could.

"Thank you, sister."

Rin just waved her off. "Are you hungry?" her older sister asked. Sakura shook her head. "How about a tea before we go to bed?" Sakura thought about it, and then nodded.

"A tea would be nice. Thank you." the younger girl said gratefully.

As Rin prepared the tea (after telling Sakura that yes, she was capable of making tea by herself and no, she would not need her assistance... and that about a hundred times before the younger girl finally gave up), Sakura grew more and more uneasy by every second. Archer was still looking at her suspiciously. He didn't seem to like her presence at all. She tried to muster up all the courage she had.

"Um..." she squeaked. It sounded pitiful. "T-Thank you, Archer." The Servant raised an eyebrow at this. "T-Thank you for protecting my s-sister." she finished awkwardly.

Archer looked at her with a strange expression on his face and sighed. "Rin is my Master. It is only natural for a Servant to protect their Master. There is no need to thank me." he said, echoing Rider's words from before.

"Thank you nonetheless." Sakura repeated the words she said earlier. The ensuing silence was a tad less awkward and tense than the one before, but Sakura still mentally sighed in relief when Rin was finished and gave her an elegant-looking cup embossed with a pretty flower pattern, filled with three quarters of hot tea.

"I don't know how much sugar you usually put into your tea." Rin shrugged. "Here." she put the sugar bowl in front of Sakura.

"Thank you." the younger girl smiled at her older sister, who just waved it off again. The purple-haired girl put two cubes into her tea. She hesitated for a moment, but then decided to drop three more into her cup.

"Quite the sweet tooth, aren't we?" Rin teased. A tinge of pink appeared on Sakura's cheeks.

"I don't like bitter things." she said. Rin raised an eyebrow.

"And you don't mind overly sweet things?"

Smiling sheepishly, the younger girl shook her head. Suddenly thinking of something, Sakura opened her mouth.

"If you don't mind... can we invite Rider to drink tea with us...?" she asked shyly. Rin seemed to be surprised at this question and Archer looked at the younger sister with amusement.

"I don't have any problems with that." Rin finally said after a few seconds passed. Sakura looked at the white-haired man.

"Um... I know you two fought against each other... I would understand if you didn't want to be nearby her..." Rin looked even more surprised at that and even Archer couldn't hide his surprise at what the younger girl just said to him.

"Heh. I don't mind." he said and shrugged. Then he added: "But if she attacks me or my Master I can't guarantee for anything." A dangerous glint appeared in his eyes.

"Oh... no." Sakura smiled slightly. "I would never allow Rider to attack my sister or her friends..." Archer's eyebrow rose at the word "friends", but he stayed quiet.

"Rider." Sakura said softly. The magenta-haired woman appeared to her left. "Would you like to join us?" she smiled at her Servant.

Rider stood still for a while, seemingly in thought. Then she smiled and said: "Yes, Sakura. I would like that." she sat down to Sakura's right, while Rin went to fetch an additional cup.

"This is ridiculous." Archer exclaimed, but didn't seem to be annoyed. In fact, he seemed to be in a rather good mood. "Looks like we're allies now." The white-haired Servant looked at Rider.

"As long as Sakura wills it, yes." she said. The air around them was tense.

It was broken when Rin entered the room. "Here." She placed a cup in front of Rider and poured tea into it.

"Thank you." Rider said. She put a single sugar cube into her tea and started nipping on the cup.

Suddenly, Sakura sighed unhappily. "Are you okay?" Rider and Rin immediately and simultaneously asked, before strangely looking at each other. Then they were looking back at Sakura. Archer had to keep himself from laughing.

"It's just..." Sakura sighed again. "I wish... h-he was here with us right now." she said, looking guilty. Rin knew who she meant and looked at her younger sister with sympathy.

"We'll meet Emiya tomorrow, don't worry." Rin smiled at her. "Let's invite him for breakfast tomorrow. Alright?"

Sakura nodded. "Thank you..." She still looked worried. "I just hope he isn't feeling too lonely..."

"He seemed well enough earlier." Archer suddenly remarked. Three pairs of eyes looked at him. Well, he couldn't see Rider's eyes, but he was fairly sure she was looking at him along with the other two. Sakura broke the short silence.

"Thank you, Archer." she said and smiled at him.

"Archer..." Rin grinned. "Did you just try to cheer my little sister up?" Archer looked at her with an annoyed expression.

"That mopey behavior just annoys me, that's all." Rin's grin grew even wider at this.

"Aww, are you getting soft?" she asked in a teasing voice. Archer almost groaned.

"I knew I should have just shut my mouth from the very beginning."

XXX

The rest of the evening went rather quiet and comfortable. There was some smalltalk between the four of them, but that was it. Not long after everyone drank their tea, Archer and Rider de-materialized after wishing the sisters a good night.

"So..." Rin began after she showed Sakura the guest room, right beside her own. "This is where you'll sleep. I'll show you the entire mansion tomorrow, if you want to."

Sakura nodded. "Thank you. I don't... remember all too much about this mansion." she admitted.

"Yeah..." Rin said, glancing aside.

"Um..." Sakura smiled at her. "Good night, sister..." Rin smiled as well.

"Yeah, good night." The older girl awkwardly patted her sister's shoulder, but Sakura shuddered at the contact. "Eh?" Rin blinked. "Are you alright, Sakura? Did that hurt or something?" she asked worriedly.

"N-No!" Sakura stuttered. "I-It's nothing. J-Just... um..." The younger girl was stammering, her cheeks red. Rin rose an eyebrow at her, but decided to let it go.

"Well, then... good night. Sleep well." Sakura managed to force a very fake-looking smile on her face.

"S-Sleep well." she spoke. Rin left the room and closed the door behind her.

Taking a deep breath, Sakura let herself fall on the bed. She almost couldn't take her desires and the hotness anymore. She almost lost it when Rin touched her shoulder. Any longer and she might have tried to do... very inappropriate things to her sister. She almost asked Rider to... help her out with her problem, but decided otherwise. Her Servant would probably do it without any hesitation, but she didn't want to treat her like a tool. Not for something like this. That was something that her brother would do. Sakura closed her eyes and tried to ignore her desires. She groaned in frustration and lust.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hm... I'm not sure yet, but there might be a lemon in the next chapter. But I really don't know yet. Ah, well...

I hope you enjoyed the chapter despite that nothing really happened. But I thought some interaction between the four of them and also between Archer and Shirou would be nice as well. Oh, and this will not be _only _a fluffy romance between Rin and Sakura. There will be action and all of that stuff in later chapters. They need to win the Grail war, after all. I'm not sure though, I've never written action scenes before. Hm... nevermind! We'll see!

Have a lovely day.

PS: Yes, I totally stole Rider's "It is a Servant's duty to blabla" from the manga. xDD I like the manga, by the way. I still think the Visual Novels are the best, but I do like both the anime and the manga of Fate/Stay Night. I recommend it. :)


	4. Connection

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything related to Fate/Stay Night. If I did, then I probably wouldn't write fanfiction about it. xD

**Author's Note: **So... fourth chapter now! This chapter contains a lemon. A Yuri lemon. With incest. If that isn't your cup of tea, then you probably shouldn't read it. If it is your cup of tea, then I hope I wrote it well enough. So... reviewers!

**Godlybunny: **Like I've said before, thanks for pointing that paragraph thingy out! And hm... I didn't know the same premise has been done already. Will I read "Into The Rain" by RadiantBeam? Hell _yes_, I will! Will I read it before I've finished my story? Hell _no_, I won't! That's pretty much why I don't want to read any FSN fanfics before I finish this story. I fear it could get influenced by other fanfics. I probably shouldn't be too surprised though. I immediately thought of this AU thingy when I read that part in the Visual Novel. I thought that other writers might have tried the same already, but ah well... it's good to hear that my story is different. xD And I don't know about the lemon build-up, but I orientate myself at the Visual Novel. But anyways, your review wasn't a downer at all! Thanks for the review. :)

**davd: **Thanks for the review! And yes, there is a lemon in this chapter. But not of the romantic kind! I don't know if that's disappointing or not. xD

Anyway, here is the fourth chapter! Enjoy.

* * *

'Have I made the right decision?'

Rin stared at her bedroom's ceiling, deep in thought. Has she? Was it really worth to attempt saving one person while endagering countless others? Did they really have much of a chance at saving that one person anyway? Zouken and Assassin were dangerous, but she worried more about Ilyasviel and Berserker. She was fairly confident that she could keep the Einzbern magus at bay, at the very least. She wasn't sure if Archer and Rider could be a match for her Servant though. Berserker was awfully strong. But then again, Zouken and Assassin were probably just as dangerous as them. Just in a different way. And then there was this strange shadow too...

The Tohsaka magus clucked her tongue. Zouken had probably more than one trick up his sleeve. And he was the one behind Sakura's current condition as well. Maybe she could convince Ilyasviel to take out the Matou and his Servant first. A temporary truce. 'I guess it's worth a shot.' Rin decided. She would go to the Einzbern castle tomorrow after breakfast. She could ask Shirou to look after Sakura. It was not like Shirou could really protect her younger sister from anyone. That was Rider's job. But Sakura would most likely enjoy the boy's company. And Shirou probably wouldn't mind either.

Rin bit her lip. She just hoped that Ilya wouldn't have Berserker attack them before they could even explain what they were doing in the Einzbern's territory. She would feel safer if she brought Rider with them, but that was out of the question. Sakura was practically defenseless without her Servant. Sure, the Tohsaka mansion was well-protected, but Zouken had an Assassin-Class Servant. She was fairly sure that Assassin could breach her defense. Rider was more than a match for Assassin. If only...

She heard the door open. Rin jumped out of her bed and raised her arm, aiming at the half-opened door. "Who is it?" she asked sharply. "I give you exactly three seconds before I'm going t-"

"W-Wait!" her younger sister's voice squeaked. "Um... it's just me, sister. I'm sorry."

Rin relaxed a bit. "Sakura? You know where the bathroom is and everything. What do you want?"

"Um... may I come in?" Sakura asked shyly. Rin sighed and lowered her arm.

"Sure."

The younger girl entered the room. She wasn't wearing one of Rin's pajamas, but the normal clothes she wore after she taking the bath earlier. Sakura gasped upon seeing her older sister and clasped her hands in front of her mouth. The purple-haired girl immediately closed her eyes and looked away. Rin blinked. "What's wrong, Sakura?"

"Y-You..." Sakura was stammering. "Y-You are only in your underwear!" she squeaked, probably a bit louder than intended.

"Well, yeah. It's more comfortable. I pretty much always sleep in my underwear." Rin shrugged. "And besides, we're both girls. This isn't something you haven't seen yet. It's not like I'm naked." Noticing how red Sakura's face looked, Rin quickly said: "But I can wear one of my pajamas too. I mean, if I make you feel uncomfortable or anything..."

Sakura just shook her head wildly, still closing her eyes. Rin yawned. "Well... then what do you want?"

"U-Um..."

Rin rose an eyebrow at her. "Yeah?"

"U-Um..."

Rin was starting to get annoyed at her younger sister's stuttering, but decided to just let her some time. Sakura still had her eyes closed and started to take deep breaths. "Have you gotten a fever from staying outside in the rain?" Rin asked. "Your face is red."

"I do have a fever..." Sakura murmured.

"Well, then you should proba-"

"B-But not that kind of fever. I-I'm not sick." the younger girl interrupted. "I'm burning up... for another r-reason..." Sakura was starting at the ground.

"What are you talking about?" Rin frowned. She was confused. Her younger sister was acting weird.

"I c-can't."

Rin rose an eyebrow at her.

"I can't surpress it anymore. I n-need it now." Sakura sounded like she was half-moaning. The older girl was starting to feel uneasy.

"Sakura...? I have no idea what you are takling about."

"The worm..." Sakura began. Rin's eyes widened.

"The worm? What about it? Did Zouken try anything? Are you okay?" Rin stepped closer to her younger sister and reached out for her shoulder, but then hastily retreated when Sakura moaned at the contact. "A-Are you okay, Sakura?"

"No." her younger sister looked at her. Her eyes were looking strange. Almost dizzy. "The worm is eating my magical energy, but it's not enough. It needs more. A-And my body is responding to it. I-I'm feeling weird just by standing next to you..."

"... Oh." Rin stared at her younger sister, her eyes widening more and more at Sakura's explanation. She sounded both embarassed and... almost relieved.

"T-The worm needs it, sister." she sounded ashamed. "I-It's not my fault! Grandfather did this. He made me into this..." she was whispering now. "Abomination." Her voice was full of self-loathing. Sakura gulped. "I-It needs magical energy... I-I would do it with Rider, b-but she would do it for me regardless of her own free will. I-I don't want to treat her like this..."

Sakura looked at her older sister. Rin didn't look with disgust at her. In fact, she just looked incredibly shocked. She stared at Sakura. The younger sister glanced aside. "I-I'll go crazy if this goes on any longer... I-I know it's much to ask, but I just can't supress it any longer..."

"S-Sakura... I-I..." Rin didn't know what to say. Her younger sister just basically said she needed to have sex with her right now, or else she would go crazy.

"Please..." Sakura's voice started to sound more and more like moaning. Rin could hear the desire and the lust in it. "I-I need it... right now."

Before Rin could say anything else, Sakura pulled her skirt up, exposing her womanhood to her. "I'm a bad person, sister." she whispered. Her vagina looked wet. And soft. It was shaved, not a single hair visible. Rin stared at it. She didn't know what to think. She was not disgusted, but far from liking the view. She just felt... weird. It was her sister. Her_ sister_. Sisters weren't supposed to do this. Rin looked away, her face red. "Look at me." Sakura's voice was soft, but strangely commanding. The shock from hearing that kind of voice from her younger sister was enough for Rin. She looked back at Sakura's vagina. Juices streamed down the younger girl's legs, although she closed her thighs. "I'm disgusting..."

"No..." Rin's voice was soft, her eyes still looking at Sakura's womanhood. "You're not disgusting." Despite how weird she felt, Rin found herself grinning. "You're actually kinda beautiful. But hey, you _are_ my sister after all." Sakura looked at her older sister, a strange expression on her face.

"Then p-please..."

Rin swallowed. She was not really disgusted. She just felt weird. This _was_ her little sister after all. And she never thought like this about girls either. Rin closed her eyes. Sakura needed it. There wasn't really another way. "O-Okay. I'll do it." she heard her younger sister gasp.

"Thank you..." Sakura said after a few seconds and closed her eyes. "M-May I come to your bed now?" she asked awkwardly and obviously embarrassed.

"Only under one condition." Rin said. "Don't call me 'sister' while we are doing this. I-It would be weird..." she flushed.

"Yes..." Sakura agreed. "We aren't sisters tonight. J-Just two magus who n-need to..." she didn't finish her sentence. Not that she needed to.

"Yeah..."

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Sakura stepped forward. Rin glanced aside, her face rivaling a tomato. She had no idea what she was supposed to do. This was her first time. She could feel Sakura's hot breath against her face. It wasn't unpleasant. A gentle hand touched her cheek, turning her to the younger girl's face. Sakura pressed their foreheads together. Purple eyes were staring into Aqua ones. The younger girl leaned in and their lips met. Rin was hesistant and had to force herself not to retreat from the kiss. She was doing this for Sakura. She closed her eyes and tried to relax. She felt Sakura's tongue running across her lips and slightly opened them. The younger girl didn't taste bad. Quite sweet, in fact. Rin couldn't say she exactly enjoyed it, but it wasn't so bad either. Sakura's lips and tongue were soft and tasted sweet. It was not unpleasant, at least. The older girl unconsciously tilted her head a bit and even tried to kiss back. If she had to do this, she didn't want to act like a statue while they were at it.

Sakura's fingers were trailing down her neck to her breasts. Rin moaned softly against Sakura's lips as one of the finger's brushed against one of her covered nipples. The younger girl broke the kiss and sloppily licked Rin's neck while she fumbled to undo Rin's bra, her fingers shaking in eagerness.

"Touch me." the younger girl whispered. She took one of the older girl's hands and brought them to one of her breasts. "Squeeze." Sakura said. Rin obliged. She felt the other girl shivering in delight. Throwing Rin's bra aside, Sakura started to focus on her breasts. She started to circle her fingers around her nipples, tightly clutching them once in a while. Rin loudly groaned in pleasure. Not missing this opportunity, Sakura swooped in and started to ravish the older girl's mouth. Rin felt her lips being bitten, but it didn't hurt much. She decided it was time to get a tad more aggressive as well. Rin tried to push Sakura's tongue back with her own while she grabbed the other girl's breasts, earning a throaty moan in response. Rin realized she could easily dominate the younger girl. She was ridiculously sensitive in her current state, but something inside her didn't want to take advantage of that. Was it because she actually liked how dominant the younger girl was? Could it be th-

Rin moaned. She could feel something poking her vagina. "You're wet." Sakura said with a sultry expression on her face as she broke the kiss. Rin looked at the younger girl nervously. Kissing and touching was one thing... but her most intimate part was another. "Don't worry." Sakura smiled at her. "I don't think it is going to hurt."

That... wasn't exactly why Rin was so nervous, but she nodded nonetheless. Sakura kneeled in front of her and slided Rin's panties off. Gulping nervously, Rin clenched her bedsheets tightly and closed her eyes. She felt one of Sakura's fingers sink into her womanhood and sucked in a breath. She clenched her bedsheets even tighter than before. Something wet flicked against her vagina alongside the finger. She looked down to see Sakura practically diving into her womanhood, licking and sucking on it. Although she couldn't deny that it felt... good, she still felt very weird too. Sakura slid another finger inside of her and Rin winced, retreating a bit. "Are you alright?" she heard Sakura ask worriedly. Rin nodded her head.

"It was just a bit too fast... and too much."

Sakura bit her lip. "I-I'm sorry. I guess I was a bit too eager..."

"It's okay. Just try to be a bit more... gentle with me."

Sakura nodded and approached Rin's womanhood again. It took some time and Rin felt uncomfortable sometimes, but she managed to relax. After Sakura slid her second finger inside of her, Rin almost couldn't take it any longer. And when Sakura softly sucked on her clit, she came with a loud moan, her inner walls squeezing around the younger girl's fingers. Sakura took some time to clean her vagina and to taste Rin's juices, licking them off her legs. Sakura got up. She looked at Rin.

Now it was Rin's turn. Biting her lips, she kneeled in front of Sakura's womanhood. It smelled sweet. The younger girl gasped when Rin start to kiss her thighs. The older girl started to lick Sakura's juices off her legs. It didn't taste bad. Rin found herself liking the taste, even. "P-Please..." she heard the other girl beg. Rin was starting to feel nervous again, but she was doing this for Sakura. That's what she kept telling herself. Rin slowly leaned in and took a hesistant lick at the younger girl's womanhood. Sakura shivered and moaned softly. Rin took another hesistant lick and looked up to Sakura. The other girl was looking down at her with a lustful look in her eyes. "I-I can't take it anymore." She grabbed the back of Rin's head and pushed it forward while grinding her crotch into Rin's face. That threw her off, but she managed to fight the urge to retreat. The older girl started to sloppily lick the other girl's vagina.

Judging from the sounds Sakura made, Rin guessed she did her job well enough. Because she was so wet, the older girl easily managed to slid a finger inside the younger girl and started to run her tongue over her clit. Sakura was moaning in ecstasy. Rin slid another finger inside her and she felt the other girl pumping her hips, encouraging Rin to continue. She slid her third finger inside Sakura's womanhood and started to sharply suck on her clit. That pushed the younger girl over the edge. She almost screamed when she climaxed, still grabbing Rin's head and pushing her crotch forward. Rin could feel the wetness on her face and started lapping at Sakura's juices. Once she was finished, Sakura got down on her knees as well and started to lick her own juices off Rin's face. They kissed. Rin hesistantly, Sakura passionately. She nervously looked at Sakura as the younger girl broke the kiss. The younger girl looked satisfied and had her eyes closed.

"That was... amazing."

Rin wasn't sure if she would call it that, but she nodded. "Y-Yeah..."

"Didn't you like it?" Sakura's voice sounded sad and disappointed.

"N-No! It wasn't bad." True. "I-It was wonderful." That was a lie. It was not a bad experience by any means for Rin, but it wasn't wonderful either. If she had to describe it, then she would probably call it "weird". She didn't really know. Rin just felt... weird. But not in a bad way. But not exactly in a good way either. She sighed.

"Good." Sakura blushed. "B-Because i-it isn't satisfied yet..." the younger girl licked her lips and looked at the older girl expectantly. Rin swallowed.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

**Author's Note: **So... I can't deny that writing all of this felt awkward. It was my first time writing a sex scene. I hope I did a fine job at it. Or at least average. Well, I hope it wasn't all too horrible. xD

Reviews would be lovely, but do I really need to mention this? I mean, doesn't pretty much every writer like them? I'm sure there are exceptions though, like with pretty much everything. I'm not an exception. xD

Have a lovely day!


	5. Brother

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything related to Fate/Stay Night. If I did, then I probably wouldn't write fanfiction about it. xD

**Author's Note: **Since you can probably count, I'll refrain from saying: "So, this is the fifth chapter!" or something unnecessary like that! Nevermind that writing... all of this was... completely unnecessary. Bah, I'm stupid. xD Let's adress my reviewer(s)!

**animerose11: **I didn't like how I wrote the lemon myself. I think it was awkward and pretty weird... I don't think I have a talent when it comes to writing sex scenes. xD But I'm glad you at least tolerated it. Thanks for the compliments. And thanks for the review. :)

So... this chapter will focus (you might have guessed from the title of the chapter) on Shinji and his relationship with Sakura and the rest of his family (and also his friends... and Rin... a bit xD). It contains a dream at the beginning and some flashbacks. I might throw in some random flashbacks in later chapters as well, but I'm not sure. Mayyyybe~! xD

I wrote the flashbacks in _italics. _Same with the dream, but there I added a** /** to mark the beginning and another** /** to mark the end. I hope it's not confusing or anything. Have fun!

* * *

_**/**"Kill him, Rider." the voice is cold, uncaring. He didn't know his sister could sound like this. The voice is usually submissive and nearly emotionless, with a tiny shred of fear and sadness underneath. Never cold. Never._

_But he is still confident. His worthless sister could never hope to harm him in any way. Never. He is the heir of the Matou! He! Not this adopted bitch of a sister! "What are you talking about?" he asks snidely. "I am Rider's Master. You may have summoned her, but I'm obviously better suited for it. You were too scared to fight, aft-" A swift kick to his side interrupts him. Crying out in pain and shock, he falls to the ground. Rider is standing in front of him. He can't see her eyes, but he can tell that she is looking at him with disdain._

_"Not anymore." still cold, uncaring. "Rider, kill him. Slowly. Take your time." his sister's smile looks wicked and cruel. "I want to enjoy this."_

_He feels something sharp pierce his right arm. He screams. Rider twists the sharp object around, causing him even more pain. She does the same to his left arm. And then to his legs. His screams are getting louder. _

_"Does it hurt?"_

_He looks up, choking sounds of pain coming from his mouth. It was Emiya who asked him this. He can see him standing next so his sister. "You remember all of the times we hung out together?" his former friend almost laughed. "Had fun together? When we were friends?" Emiya doesn't even wait for a response. "It was because so I could feel better about myself. Sure, I'm an untalented magus. But that's a hundred times better than what you are." Emiya grins at him. "I have everything you ever wanted to. I even have your sister." He puts an arm around the purple-haired girl standing next to him. "You thought she belongs to you? Think again. Guess who she thought about whenever you two did it?" Emiya laughs and the girl joins in._

_He tries to crawl away. Away from all of this. He feels something metallic penetrating one of his hands. He cries out in pain. "E-Emiya!" he shrieks in panic. "I know you! Stop all of this. You would never watch anyone get murdered right in front of you!" he knows he's right. Emiya would never let this happen. He would nev- _

_He hears the other boy's laugh. It sounds mocking and disgusted._

_"Because you were never worth killing. Watching you make an idiot out of yourself was so much more satisfying." Emiya snorts. "But now that your sister finally wills it... well, let's just say I'm going to enjoy this nearly as much as she will."_

_No. No, this can't be true. He can't die like this. Not here. Not like this. He wants to crawl away again, but feels that he can't move his limbs without a burning pain shooting through them. He sees stars dancing in front of him. He wants to give up and beg for a quick death, but he clings desperately to his last shred of ('fake') pride as a Matou. There has to be a way out of this!_

_"L-Look, you two." he begins. "Grandfather will not be happy if you two kill me! He would want revenge for his heir!" he knew appealing to his grandfather's "love for his own grandson" wouldn't fool them in the slightest. But... what is he thinking? His grandfather does love him, he is sure of that. Does he not? _

_His sister opens her mouth. "No, my grandson." the voice of an old man comes out of her mouth. He stares at her... or him. "You are a disgrace to the Matou name. And here I thought it could not get any worse when I saw how your pathetic father drank himself to death." His sister/grandfather looks at him with disgust._

_"E-Emiya." he can barely hear his own shrieking voice now. "Look! That is not my sister and your girlfriend anymore! I-"_

_"I know." Emiya interrupts him. His voice is calm and he sounds amused. The red-haired boy grins at him. "Got a problem with that?" He turns to the girl and starts to kiss her._

_He feels like vomiting at the sight of that. To his horror he finds himself unable to close his eyes for some reason. He looks at Rider. The Servant's expression is completely emotionless. She is looking at him. He has enough strength to turn his head away._

_He sees Tohsaka leaning at the wall next to him. Her face is expressionless._

_"What Emiya said was not right." her voice sounds almost mocking. "I know why you desire me so much. It is not Emiya you are jealous of after all." Tohsaka smirks at him. "Well, you are jealous of Emiya, but not nearly to as much of an extent as of me. Right? I'm a talented magus. More skilled than most magi could ever hope to be. Everyone adores me. I'm a respected person and magus." she laughs at him. "And what are you? You are the heir of the Matou family, but you can't do any magic yourself. Granted, a lot of girls follow you around, but you neither enjoy their company nor do you really want them. And they are probably mostly interested in your money anyway. You are the Vice-captain of the archery club, but nobody likes you there. Same as with the rest of the school." her face becomes expressionless again. "Am I right?"_

_He doesn't answer her. He turns his face to Emiya and his sister/grandfather again. They look at him with both amusement and resentment. He looks at Rider. Her face is just as expressionless as Tohsaka's. He stops looking at anyone and just lays his head back. His mind is blank. He barely feels anything but pain. He can feel something hot burning in his eyes and realizes he is crying. He doesn't know if he is crying because of pain, anger, frustration or... because of other reasons. He closes his eyes. It is almost a relief when he hears the emotionless voice of his sister/grandfather._

_"Kill him."/_

XXX

Shinji Matou's eyes snapped open and he screamed. His heart was beating fast and he had trouble breathing. He looked at his watch. 3:21 am. Great. He rubbed his eyes and blinked.

This dream was horrifyingly realistic. He tried to calm himself. 'Sakura would never dare to do such a thing.' he thought to himself. He smiled in satisfaction, but then felt his hands touching something wet. He looked down. The upper third of his blanket was wet. His first thought was that he wet his bed and his cheeks flushed red in shame. But then he realized it wasn't urine, but something else. He touched his cheeks. They were wet as well. Shinji realized that he was crying. He gritted his teeth.

_"You disgraced the name of the Makiri."_

The boy got up. After making the bed, he went to the bathroom and washed his face. He looked into the mirror. He was pale. He had bags under his eyes. Small, but noticeable. His hands balled to fists. The person in the mirror looked like a younger version of his father.

_"You and your father are both disgraces to our family."_

Shinji punched the mirror. It hurt, but he didn't care. He almost wanted to scream in anger and frustration. "It was never supposed to go like this..." he whispered to himself. The young Matou closed his eyes, blood dripping from the cuts in his fist.

XXX

_At first he hated the thought of another child in the family. He was going to be a great magus someday, so he needed all the attention he could get. But being mean to his new adoptive sister was a hard thing to do. She looked so depressed all of the time and always took his teasing and his insults without any complaint. She even apologized, even though she did nothing wrong. Shinji thought she had a good reason to be depressed though. She absolutely refused to speak about her biological parents, so he concluded they must have both died. Or maybe she came from an orphanage. He didn't know. _

_His father and grandfather never talked about Sakura's past. He asked his father once, but his old man told him he didn't think he should tell him without Sakura's permission. Shinji was annoyed at this, but quickly discarded that feeling when his father smiled apologetically at him and ruffled through his hair. He asked his adoptive sister, she merely smiled at him and said their grandfather told her to forget that her old family even existed. Shinji frowned at this, but decided that the old man may have meant this in a positive way._

_"Grandfather probably told you this so you'd stop feeling sad about your old family." Shinji grinned at his sister. "It hurts to think about them, doesn't it? Grandfather probably just wants you to stop feeling sad and start concentrating on your new family now."_

_"Thank you..." she said softly and smiled at him. It didn't look very sincere, but Shinji's cheeks tinged pink nonetheless.._

_"W-Whatever!" he exclaimed. "I just want you to start concentrating on your new family, because your big brother is going to become the greatest magus this family has ever seen!" he boasted_

_"Yes..." Sakura's smile seemed even more insincere now and she looked at the ground as if she was ashamed. Shinji felt bad for his younger sister. She became the younger sibling of the heir of the Matou. One of the three great magus families. A mere human without any magical talents had to feel pretty bad in such a family. Forever destined to live in the other sibling's shadow. Destined to be normal, and not special. He couldn't even imagine what this felt like. It must have been terrible._

_"Hey..." his tone was gentle. "You know, having some help would be quite welcome. I mean, you can bring me books and other stuff. That way I wouldn't need to get up and waste time in searching them for myself. And you can test me orally whenever I'm finished with a chapter and help me with preparing stuff for testing out my magic and stuff. That way you'd help me in becoming the most awesome magus of all time and could even take some credit yourself." he smiled proudly at Sakura. But the younger girl didn't look at him. She was still staring at the ground and still looked as if she was ashamed of something. Shinji worried he may have pressured her too much into it and quickly said: "But it doesn't really matter! I'll just need a bit more time to become an awesome magus if nobody helps me. I have time. And I heard studying all of the time does more bad than good anyway." he shrugged. "I've got a new person to play with anyway now." he said and grinned at Sakura. His sister looked at him. A hopeful look was in her eyes._

_"D-Do you mean that?" she whispered._

_"Of course!" Shinji suddenly decided that he would be nicer to his new sister from now on. "All of the people at school will be so jealous of me for having such a cute little sister too!"_

_A ghost of a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "Thank you..." she sounded grateful. Almost too grateful. Shinji thought she must have felt really lonely for a long time now._

_He ruffled through his sister's hair and she giggled softly. "Don't mention it." he grinned at her and she looked at him. Her eyes looked suspiciously wet, but she smiled._

_And since the first time Shinji has seen her... Sakura's smile looked sincere. _

XXX

Shinji shook his head. Pointless memories. He hissed in pain as he pulled one of the glass shards out of his fist.

He almost wanted to laugh. He really _was _a complete failure. Sakura made the Book of the False Attendant twice for him. And he utterly failed at being a Master both times. Zouken was completely right. Like his father, he was a complete failure. A pathetic failure. He always was a failure...

XXX

_"Stop it!" Shinji exclaimed in anger and stepped between his younger sister and the older boy. "What do you think you're doing? You can't hit a Matou!" Truthfully, he didn't care about his last name at all right now, but the other boy (and Sakura) didn't need to know that. The bully glanced at him._

_"She didn't answer me and just kept apologizing. It pisses me off." _

_"Answer what? Not that it's important. Sakura has every right not to speak to the likes of you." Shinji sneered at him. The older boy seemed to ignore the last part of the Matou boy's sentence and glared at Sakura, who was just staring at the ground. Her left cheek was red._

_"I asked her why she never really reacts to anything. Did you see her eyes? They look dead all of the time. It creeps me out."_

_"That's no reason to hit her, you moron!" Shinji smiled smugly at him. "Besides, she is a Matou. Why would she react to anything coming out of the mouth of trash like you?"_

_The other boy growled at this. He looked like he was ready to beat the young Matou up. Shinji gulped. He really only was a big talker. He didn't really know how to fight either. But although he knew he was a coward at heart, that didn't make him run away. He did have his pride. And besides, what would Sakura think of her brother if he just ran away right now?_

_"That's enough." a new voice said consistently. Sakura, Shinji and the bully looked at the voice's direction._

_Shirou Emiya walked towards them. Shinji almost sighed in relief. Shirou had a reputation of hunting bullies at school and it showed. The boy who intended to beat Shinji up backed off. He looked like he wanted to say something, but Shirou glared at him, daring the older boy to say something wrong. The bully closed his mouth after a moment, turned around and walked away quickly. Shinji sighed in relief. He glanced at Shirou._

_"Thanks, Emiya. I could have gotten in trouble if you hadn't showed up." he grinned at the red-haired boy. "Beating up that prick would have probably gone sraight in my school file."_

_Shirou didn't seem to doubt that Shinji could have and would have beaten the other boy at all. He just grinned back at Shinji, but then looked a bit more serious._

_"Geez... you really shouldn't provoke people by saying your family is worth more than theirs."_

_Shinji shrugged. "Well, it's a good way to piss morons like him off."_

_"It's still no good. People can solve things by talking as well, you know?" But Shirou didn't really look so serious anymore, he just grinned again. Shinji, Sakura and Shirou. The three of them were pretty much inseparable._

_"He hit Sakura. I really doubt you would tried talking to that twat after seeing that."_

_"... You have a point." Shirou admitted. "But still... try to stop talking down to people. Okay?"_

_The Matou boy just "hmphed"._

_Realizing that they forgot something... or rather someone, both boys turned to Sakura and asked her if she was okay. She nodded gratefully and smiled at them. "I'm sorry for always causing so much trouble though..." she said._

_"It's not your fault that some guys are just bullying jerks." Shirou smiled at her. "Besides, protecting you almost makes me feel like a superhero." he scratched the back of his head and laughed in embarrassment. Shinji snorted, but he couldn't help but smile slightly at his best friend. _

_"You don't mind protecting Sakura either, Shinji. Right?" _

_The blue-haired boy almost wanted to say that it was annoying him, but then he looked at Sakura. She was smiling brightly and gratefully at him._

_"... I don't really care."_

_They walked towards the school building together._

XXX

Shinji pulled the last shard out of his fist and wrapped a bandage around his hand.

He looked at a rather old photo that he randomly found while looking for the bandages. He didn't even know why he still had it. It was so stupid. Emiya and he were both standing next to Sakura and were both grinning stupididly while she was just smiling shyly. He averted his eyes. Looking at the picture suddenly felt painful to him, so he threw it into the corner of his room.

He was walking through the mansion. Sakura wasn't here. He had no idea where his grandfather was, but he didn't really care at the moment. Shinji started to think about his family.

His father, Byakuya, was an untalented magus. He was a failure. He basically drank himself to death and thus died as a failure as well. Shinji suddenly remembered his father's hands ruffling through his hair and could almost see his grin. He shook his head. Those memories were meaningless. He hated him.

He didn't know much about his mother. According to his grandfather, she was the daughter of a random third-rate magus. She died not long after giving birth to him. It was also her fault that he wasn't a proper magus. He hated her.

His uncle, Kariya, was a talented magus. But he threw all of it away and left the Matou family for reasons unbeknownst to him. He didn't deserve his luck, that fool. Shinji didn't know when or how, but he eventually died. He hated him.

His grandfather, Zouken, was the one who raised him after his father died. He was a powerful magus. Shinji always wanted to make him proud after his father died, but he failed. Although is grandfather was never particulary cruel to him, the young Matou didn't like him. And his worms were just creepy. He hated him.

And then there was his adopted sister, Sakura. Oh, how he loathed her. He hated how she looked at him with pity and guilt, he hated how she kept apologizing for everything... but most of all, he hated her for being the special one instead of him. He studied for months. And for what? Just to find out that he was actually an untalented magus and that his new sister was going to be the new heir of the Matou. He hated her.

XXX

_Sakura cried out in pain and held her left cheek. She was too ashamed to look her older brother in the eyes._

_"You always knew, didn't you?" his voice was shaking with anger. "Everytime you laughed with me... no, wait." Shinji corrected himself. "Laughed AT me. Everytime we laughed together... you knew?!"_

_"I'm sorry..."_

_He slapped her again. "SHUT UP!" Shinji roared in anger. "Stop apologizing when you don't even mean it, you little bitch! Why did you never tell me? Did you enjoy making a fool out of me whenever I spoke about becoming a magus, huh? Did you enjoy that?"_

_Sakura swallowed. Tears were streaming down her face. "I just didn't want you to hate me..." she whispered. "I'm sorry..."_

_For a moment, the young boy truly felt guilt and sympathy when his little sister looked at him like that, tears in her eyes. Shinji gritted his teeth. He slapped her again. "You should have thought about that before ruining my dreams!" he shouted and kicked her in the stomach. Sakura winced in pain._

_"I HATE YOU!"_

_The girl started to sob. "I'm sorry..." she choked._

_Shinji left his sister's room and slammed the door shut. He looked at his sister's door for a short moment, feeling something hot burning in his eyes. He could still hear her muffled voice through the door._

_"I'm sorry... brother. I'm sorry..."_

_Shaking his head, he went to his room, not looking back once._

XXX

Shinji lay on his bed. He seemed to remember a lot of pointless things when he lacked sleep. He hated his memories. They were stupid. They were dangerous. They almost made him feel... bad.

No, he didn't feel bad. There was no reason to. He just hated everyone. His family, Emiya, Tohsaka, Rider, Sakura... and even himself. Heh, even himself? The lack of sleep really did make him think of stupid things. How stupid.

He could hear a sobbing voice inside his head and tried to ignore it.

_"I just didn't want you to hate me."_

He closed his eyes.

_"I'm sorry... brother. I'm sorry..."_

'Annoying...'

Shinji didn't realize that a single tear made it's way down his cheek.

'She deserved it... she deserved all of it...'

He fell asleep soon after that.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So... I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Reviews would be awesome and all of that. And by the way, I'm sorry if anyone feels I've wasted a chapter on this little weasel, but I think his relationship with Sakura and their flashbacks give them a bit more depth and stuff like that. Well, the next chapter will focus largely on Rin and Sakura again, so don't worry. xD

Have a lovely day!


	6. Morning

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything related to Fate/Stay Night. If I did, then I probably wouldn't write fanfiction about it. xD

**Author's Note: **So... this chapter is mostly going to be Filler before their journey to the Einzbern castle. I didn't want to draw it out for too long and mostly wanted to show the characters dealing with you-know-what. Now, reviewers!

**Horse Radish: **I really have to agree with you there. I found it pretty tacky as well. I think I'm going to rewrite that scene sooner or later. I need to go look for some advice regarding the writing of sex scenes. xD But I'm not sure what you mean. You mean getting turned on by incest? Nooo, I'm not getting turned on by incest. Not that there's really anything _wrong _with that. It's weird... anyway, thanks for the review! :)

**James Dean: **You read a pretty tacky lemon about two sisters. Weird, I know... forgive me! Thanks for the review, I guess. xD

**reality deviant: **It definitely will play an important role later on, I think. Although I'm still not sure how important. xD Thanks for the review. :)

**Random: **Thank you. And ha, it's not really that unreasonable when you look at how he acted during every route. He does a good job at being a despicable little weasel, I'll give him that. And hm... yeah, I think he would have become a semi-decent human being if he had never found out about that whole magus stuff in the first place. Or if he had been born with magic circuits. Thank you for the review! :)

* * *

The moment she woke up, Rin Tohsaka knew this morning wouldn't be very pleasant.

On the one hand, because she was generally not a morning person and thus rather few mornings actually felt pleasant to her. But on the other hand, it was really mostly because of the warm and _naked _body of her younger sister lying in the same bed as her. The left half of Sakura's body was lying on top of her and she could feel the younger girl's soft breath against her neck.

Rin glanced at Sakura's face. She looked rather content and had a peaceful smile on her face. Somehow, the older girl doubted Sakura would look like this after waking up. Rin sighed.

She really didn't know what to make of last night.

The fact that she found out she could feel attracted to other girls didn't bother her. The fact that the girl she felt attracted to was her younger sister was not only troubling, but also plain creepy to her. Sure, it was awkward and uncomfortable at times, but she also knew that she liked certain things about last night. A little bit. Somewhat. Okay, more like immensely. Some things more than others. Although the oral sex, the fingering and the lesbian sex gave her the most pleasure, she found that she would have liked to kiss a little bit more. She definitely felt attracted to Sakura, but perhaps it was more romantic than sexual. Or not. She had no idea. She did feel attracted to Sakura, but in a really weird way. She couldn't explain it. Either way, it didn't really matter anyway. A relationship between Rin Tohsaka and Sakura Matou was impossible.

Incest. It was one of the things that were just disturbing without really needing to explain why. It just was. It was a common thought, shared by many people. And while her mind thought so as well, her heart didn't. She almost wanted to groan. Rin wanted to smack herself for thinking such cheesy things, but it was sort of accurate. She couldn't objectively find any arguments against incest. Except when it came to breeding, but that didn't really matter in their case... well, there was an argument against it. Not as much against the actual thing as much as what other people would think. Being together with another girl was bad enough here, but with her own sister? That was out of the question.

But the most important part... it was one-sided anyway. Sakura's mind was pretty much clouded by her lust. The damn worm made her act like this. She was ashamed to find out that some of her thoughts centered around cheering the worm up to eat even more of Sakura's magical energy, so that they could repeat the things they did last night. She shook her head in disgust. She looked at her younger sister and couldn't help but smile.

She had always liked Sakura. And although her magus training and her reasons for ignoring Sakura made ignoring her sister easier, it has never really gotten truly easy. But she consoled herself with the thought that it was all for Sakura's own good. Or rather, tried to tell herself that.

How wrong she was. She knew now. She knew now how happy she could have made her little sister in all of those terrible years if she had only talked to her sometimes, at least. It was unfair. The sadness she felt was quickly replaced by anger. She was going to kill that damn old man. And if it was the last thing she would do.

Rin's thoughts came to an abrupt end as soon as her alarm clock went off. She almost fell out of her bed when she heard the first sound. She groaned in annoyance. She had the weird ability to wake up like 5 minutes before her alarm usually went off and tended to forget that a lot.

But she reacted quickly and turned it off, not two seconds after the first sound came out of it. She really hoped her sister didn't wake up from it. She would have preferred to slip out of the room and go take a shower to spare them the awkwardness of waking up in the same bed. Together. And naked. After a night full of sex.

They had no such luck.

XXX

For the first time in years, Sakura Matou awoke happily, well rested and perfectly content.

She didn't even want to open her eyes, out of fear that she could be still somehow in the Matou household instead of living with her beloved sister. But she knew it was silly as she could recall what happened last evening. She could still feel the sensation of hugging her sister in the rain. The young girl sighed softly and found, to her embarrassment, that she was drooling. She _really_ must have felt comfortable.

She didn't know how late it was and, to her surprise, found herself not caring. She only wanted to feel like this for a few minutes longer. The last day _was _exhausting after all. All that running around, those weird feelings, the sex... Sakura snuggled closer to the warm body that was half next to and half under her. She smiled softly. It was nice to have someone to cuddle with.

Sakura's eyes snapped wide open. Sex? Warm body? Suddenly, she recalled what happened last night. She could see white and creamy-looking skin in front of her. She prayed that it wasn't how she thought it was. She let her eyes wander over the other girl's body until she saw the other girl's blushing face. Her older sister tried to smile at her, but it only ended up looking incredibly awkward. She also realized that she was basically lying on top of Rin, their breasts nearly touching. They were both naked, apparently. That was enough for Sakura.

With a high-pitched squeal, Sakura pushed herself as far away as possible from the other girl. She couldn't believe it. She basically forced her older sister into having sex with her. Just because she was being a... a... damn slut like her brother always said she was! Rin would never forgive her for this. Sakura smiled bitterly. She really did screw everything up all of the time. Nothing but a failure after all. It didn't take long for tears to make their way down her cheeks.

"I-I'm..." she tried to compose herself. She owed her sister an apology for this, at least. "I'm sorry... for making you do this. I..." she was choking now. "I'll go pack my things." She walked towards the door, her head hanging down in shame.

"Sakura?" her sister's questionable tone made Sakura turn around. To her confusion, Rin didn't look disgusted or angry with her. Just like Sakura herself, Rin just looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I..." Sakura bit her lip. Could it be that Rin didn't remember what happened last night? No, they were both naked and she lay on top of her. And she could also see various clothing on the ground. It really was unmistakeable... sort of. But still... the purple-haired girl wanted to believe that Rin didn't remember any of it. But then again, it would be terrible to keep such a thing from her sister. "I... we... we had sex!" she exclaimed and looked at the ground in shame.

"Y-Yeah... I know." Rin's voice sounded odd. Not disgusted at all. Just a bit embarrassed with a hint of something else that Sakura couldn't place. "How are you feeling?"

Sakura blinked. "What... what are you saying?" she was almost whispering. "I pretty much forced you to sleep with me! Don't you hate me for doing that?"

Rin seemed surprised by the question, but then she sighed and had a knowing look on her face. "Don't blame yourself for the needs of that stupid worm, Sakura. Besides, I agreed to it of my own will." she grinned, but then suddenly blushed red and quickly said: "But it's not like I _wanted _to do it, alright? It was just a favor. You owe me!"

Sakura was staring at her for nearly a minute. Then her face brightened. "I... I have the best sister in the whole wide world!" she practically jumped on the bed and threw her arms around Rin, hugging her tightly. She was crying again, but this time it were tears of happiness and relief.

Suddenly realizing that both of them were still naked, Sakura quickly pulled away and her cheeks tinged pink. Rin giggled softly, but then she looked serious.

"Sakura, do you have enough mana now?"

"Yes..." Sakura said embarrassedly. "It's um... satisfied." She gulped, then added: "For now..."

"Ah..." Rin glanced aside. "Um... let's pick those up." she said and pointed at the clothes on the ground.

"O-Okay..." Sakura was glad that they could do something other than look at each other awkwardly.

"Sakura, how much do you remember about last night?" Rin asked in an amused tone.

"Not very much..." Sakura looked at the shirt that Rin held in her hands. It was torn apart. Sakura stared at it. "D-Did I...?"

"Yeah." the older girl said. "You were pretty impatient yesterday, so you just tore it apart." her tone was playful. "At least you were nice enough to open my bra like a normal hum- hey! You might want to not touch your panties."

Sakura froze in her movements and looked at Rin. "Um... why is that?"

Rin flushed. "You stuffed them into my mouth. I imagine you wouldn't want to touch something full of my drool and... yeah..."

The younger girl blushed an even brighter red. "I um... I see..."

"This is awkward." Rin said, summing up both of their thoughts in an entirely needless way.

"Y-Yes..." Sakura agreed, giving an almost equally needless comment. "So... then are you going to pick them up...?" she asked, looking at the suddenly very interesting paintings on the bedroom wall.

"Only if you pick up mine."

"U-Um... does that mean that I...?"

"Yes."

"A-And that your... i-in my mouth...?"

"Yes."

"I-I see..."

Rin sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Why don't you just go downstairs and prepare some tea while I go put those bedsheets into the washing machine or something?"

"I would like to take a shower first, please..." Sakura said shyly.

Rin sighed again. "Fine. I'll go prepare the tea, you put those sheets into the washing machine and take a shower."

Sakura nodded. "Thank you."

Rin turned around and began dressing herself, but turned to the younger girl again when she heard her gasp. "Something wrong?" she asked Sakura. The younger sister just shook her head and left the room, going straight to the bathroom.

... Sakura really didn't want to talk about those scratches on her sister's back.

XXX

"That was... awkward." Rin quietly muttered to herself. At least the worst part was over now. She would just go, prepare the tea, take a shower, call Shirou over and eat breakfast together now and everything would be the same as before.

Well... apart from some of her very weird feelings for her younger sister. But she could ignore that.

Thinking about it, she shouldn't have been surprised that Sakura would immediately blame herself instead of thinking logically about what happened. Shinji and Zouken really must have drilled all of that self-loathing inside her head. She gritted her teeth. They would pay soon enough.

Her thoughts drifted to yesterday's night again.

She wondered if Archer and Rider knew about them having sex. And she wondered if they should tell Shirou about it... but thinking about it, no. Nobody really needed to know about it. This was their... problem.

Sighing, Rin left her bedroom.

XXX

Sakura closed her eyes. The water was warm and comfortable, but she couldn't help but shiver. She remembered many things about last night. My God, she really _was_ a damn slut, just like her brother always claimed she was. True, the worm was mostly at fault. It increased her lust and the need for sex became unbearable. But most of all... the worm just wanted sex. Stuffing her underwear into Rin's mouth hardly had anything to do with that. But well, maybe the worm just increased her lust too and made her act all weird. She could still feel how good it felt to get this much pleasure out of the older girl. Hearing her scream and moan satisfied her. It felt great. _She _felt great.

But that was under the influence of the worm. True, on the one hand Rin was pretty attractive and Sakura couldn't help but stare at her naked body earlier, but she didn't lust after her. But on the other hand, she did crave for contact. She could probably lie with her sister in the bed and hug her all day long. It felt good to be close to her. She liked the affection. And although she was ashamed of it, she also liked the pity and the sympathy. It was an acknowledgment of the pain she went through, at least. But that was not the only reason...

Sakura turned the water off. Thinking about these things were pointless and harmful. It made her feel bad.

She didn't like feeling bad.

XXX

"You could have just asked me, you know?" Archer didn't even bother to hide his obvious amusement at the situation.

"No, Archer." Rin was annoyed. "This was family business. There was no point in forcing you into it." she eyed him suspiciously. "Tell me the truth, would you have actually wanted to do it?"

Archer sighed. "No, I wouldn't have wanted it." Rin rose an eyebrow at him.

"Why so?"

"Too young. Plus, I don't trust her."

Rin groaned in annoyance. "This again? I already told you we're on the same side now!"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Nor does it mean I have to hide my dissatisfaction." Archer glanced at her.

"Fine. Just try to trust me on this." Rin grumbled.

"Easier said than done. She's already seduced you anyhow." Archer said, half-joking and half-serious.

"_Excuse me?" _the girl stared at him, her cheeks turning red. "I didn't want to it, alright?! There was just no other way!"

Archer laughed. "I didn't mean that, you idiot. It's just obvious that you care for her a lot." the Servant eyed her with amusement. "In a perhaps inappropriate way."

"Just shut up and prepare the tea!" Rin snapped. Archer rolled his eyes.

"Fine. By the way, are you going to tell the boy?"

"Emiya? No, this doesn't concern him." Rin glanced aside. "Besides, he would probably get freaked out or something."

"More like get turned on." Archer muttered with distaste.

Rin ignored her Servant and suddenly groaned in annoyance. "Emiya... I told Sakura I'd call him over for breakfast." she quickly walked towards the living room.

XXX

Rin and smiled when Sakura entered the room. The younger girl smiled at her as well. "You may go take your shower now, sister."

"Yeah, I kinda figured that out by myself." Rin said, but she sounded more playful than mocking. "By the way, Emiya said we shouldn't wait for him. He woke up a bit earlier and forgot about our invitation, so he already ate by himself. He still said he'd visit us soon." The younger girl nodded at this. Rin left the room.

Sakura swallowed and looked at Archer nervously. "Um... good morning." she offered weakly.

"Good morning." Archer was grinning. "Did Rin give you all the mana you needed?"

Sakura nodded, her cheeks reddening slightly. "Rider." she called out. The magenta-haired Servant immediately materialized next to her.

"Good morning, Sakura." the woman was smiling at her Master and seemed in a genuinely good mood.

"Good morning, Rider." Sakura said, smiling back at her Servant. "Please take a seat while I'm going to prepare breakfast." Rider obliged and Sakura went inside the kitchen.

The two Servants were alone now. They politely nodded to each other as a greeting, but didn't talk much apart from that. After a few minutes, Rider finally asked something.

"Did you watch them?" Archer's eyebrows rose, but he wasn't really too surprised at this question.

"No. But I did hear them. You?" Rider tilted her head and seemed to think.

"I heard them as well."

Archer stared at her. "You didn't watch them or anything, did you?" Again, Rider tilted her head and seemed to think.

"Not that I know of, no."

"Just what kind of answer is that?!"

XXX

"I usually don't eat breakfast." Rin mumbled, brushing her still wet hair. Sakura looked at her and pouted.

"That's no good, sister. Breakfast is the mo-"

"Yeah, yeah." the older girl interrupted. "The most important meal of the day, I know. I don't care."

"Please excuse Rin's manners, Sakura. But she is kind of a grumpy bear in the morning." Archer said and then laughed at his Master's clearly disapproving glance in his direction. Sakura looked at her sister strangely.

"But sister... you didn't seem so grumpy when we were talking earlier..."

"Well, please forgive me that I've been acting nervous and awkward. It's not like I just had sex with my sister or anything. Oh, wait!" Rin said in a tone of one having a great revelation.

"Was it enjoyable, Sakura?" The young girl blinked and looked at her Servant, turning her head back to Rin when she heard the older girl coughing and visibly choking on something.

"Um... excuse me, Rider?" she asked the woman in confusion. "What was enjoyable?"

"Last night." Rider said with a slightly mischievous smile on her face. "Did you like it?"

"Who cares if it was nice or anything?!" Rin exclaimed defensively. Her face only was red because of anger. Yeah... no other reason at all! "Sakura's got enough magical energy now! That's all that matters."

"Um... i-it was very nice..." Sakura stammered, intensely staring at the food on the table like it would go away if she averted her eyes from it. "R-Rin..." she began, not wanting to make this even more awkward by saying "sister" or anything like that. "She was a very l-loving um... yeah..." the young girl finished lamely.

Rin was staring at Sakura, her whole face burning up. Why was she telling such embarrassing things? Whatever. Sighing, she eventually said: "Yeah, it was pretty... nice. Yeah."

Sakura was staring at the food even more intensely now, Rider's grin was getting wider and Archer was laughing heartily. Rin somehow managed to glare at both Archer and Rider at the same time, but the two Servants paid it no mind.

"What is it?" the older girl asked, obviously annoyed. "Sakura needed magical energy and I provided it. That's all there is to it!"

"T-That's right." Sakura said, not seeming really annoyed, but ashamed. "Rin just did me an incredible favor... p-please stop teasing her for her kindness..."

Rider nodded, but she was still smiling mischievously.

"Of course. I am never going to bring this up again." the white-haired Servant grinned, not even trying to hide the fact that he was lying through his teeth.

They eventually started eating after a short time of awkward silence.

Rin couldn't praise Sakura's cooking enough and even Archer admitted it was pretty much the best food he's ever eaten before. Sakura was used to getting her cooking complimented by Shirou and Taiga, but she couldn't help but smile brightly and happily at the praise. Mostly because it was her beloved sister who was the one mainly doing it. She told herself that she would cook an even better meal for dinner. It was the least she could do after troubling her sister so much.

Noticing that Rider wasn't touching the food, Rin spoke up.

"Rider, aren't you going to eat some of that too?"

The magenta-haired woman turned her head to Rin. "No. I do not eat." she said. "I am not interested in how humans consume nutrition."

"Um... Rider?" Sakura asked cautiously. "You've been helping me out a lot... and you're going to fight for me in the future. So... at least let me cook for you. Um... please?"

"... Very well. Thank you." Rider said after a short pause and nodded. She started eating as well.

"Thanks for thinking of Rider, sister." Sakura whispered at Rin, smiling almost brighter than before.

Rin just waved it off.

XXX

"Well, then." the Tohsaka magus said in a serious tone. Shirou arrived at their place about 20 minutes after they were finished with breakfast. She looked at the short group sitting around her. "Let's take a look at the current situation." Rin began.

"I'm fairly confident that I can take on every remaining Master. I should be able to defeat Zouken. But I will take Emiya with me as back-up to make sure. Archer and Rider should be able to defeat Assassin together quite easily. Now for our real problem. I believe that this shadow is somehow connected to Zouken. I have no idea what it is and what it is up to, but it's probably nothing good. And then there is Berserker..."

"No, this problem has been taken care of." Shirou smiled brightly. "Ilya, Berserker's Master, and I have become friends and she told me she'd be my ally no matter what. I actually planned on going to the Einzbern castle today to ask her for assistance in defeating Zouken."

If she was in a cartoon, then Rin was sure her jaw would have probably dropped at this. "You... became friends with Berserker's Master? We're still talking about Ilyasviel von Einzbern, right?"

"Yes." Shirou answered. "We've been meeting up and talked for quite some time now." he grinned stupididly. "I know it sounds ridiculous, but that's just how it was."

"Um..." Sakura suddenly said. Or rather stuttered. "What about me...?"

"What about you? You're going to stay here, that's what you're going to do!" Rin said in a commanding tone and looked at Sakura, daring her to talk back. But the younger girl just nodded slightly and looked embarrassed.

"Yeah." Shirou agreed. "It's too dangerous for you out there, Sakura. You would be an easy target for Zouken..." he smiled at her. "You'd better just stay here in Tohsaka's mansion with Rider guarding you."

"I agree with Emiya." Rin said, but then added: "For now anyway."

Paying that comment no mind, Shirou said: "I also wanted to warn them of that weird shadow. Something tells me that shadow is our real problem."

"Maybe." Rin looked at Archer. "What do you think?" she asked him. Archer's answer was immediate.

"Zouken should be taken out first. Not only would it be better if Assassin disappeared as soon as possible, but the real problem is the girl." he looked at Sakura. "He could force her to fight if he somehow came into contact with her."

"Yes." to everyone's surprise, Rider agreed with the white-haired Servant. "Zouken should be taken out first."

Rin and Shirou nodded. Sakura seemed like she silently agreed with them.

The Tohsaka magus turned her head to Shirou. "Since Ilyasviel seems to trust you, it would be better if you came along with Archer and me. Sakura will be safe with Rider." Rin really didn't want to leave Sakura yet, but she had no choice. They really needed to tell the Einzbern about all of this. "Any objections."

"I have a complaint." Archer suddenly said. Everybody turned to look at the Servant.

"What is it?" Rin asked impatiently. "I already told you that we'd try to save Sakura no mat-"

"It's not that." Archer interrupted her. He groaned and pointed at Shirou. "Do we really have to take him with us?" Shirou's left eye twitched sligthly.

"Bastard."

"This is really going to be an annoying day, isn't it...?" Rin whispered to herself.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Argh, I know. The pointless Filler probably hurts, but I figured it would wrap some things up and stuff... well, anyway! I hope you enjoyed reading this nonetheless. Again, sorry for the Filler. xD

Have a lovely day!


	7. Basement

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything related to Fate/Stay Night. If I did, then I probably wouldn't write fanfiction about it. xD

**Author's Note: **Argh, sorry for the rather long break. I just had total writer's block and I don't know. T_T Well, I still have massive writer's block and literally forced myself to write this chapter. It's unfortunately still Filler before the journey to the Einzbern castle begins, but the chapter does have some importance. Please forgive me! And now for the reviews!

**reality deviant: **I know! And you'll be most likely disappointed with this chapter as well. Sorry, but I just need some time to get over this writer's block thingy. And the Filler does have some importance. Thanks for the review. :3

**animerose11: **Thank you! I'm really glad you like it~! Thanks for the awesome reviews you post. ^_^

**Hotako Tomoe: **Sorry to disappoint, but this won't turn into a harem. I generally dislike harem fics, to be honest. And um... I have no idea how to write lemons that involve penises and don't really want to, sorry. XD Thanks for the review!

**littlefirebird: **You might want to check out my answer to **Godlybunny **in chapter 4. I really hope this doesn't turn out to be _too _similiar to "Into the Rain" though, but I've been told only the premise and some other minor things are similiar. So... yeah.

Seventh chapter incoming. Sorry, it's rather short. T_T

* * *

The basement was cold and dim. Like it always was.

Descending the staircase felt uncomfortable as it would break any second, which was quite an accomplishment considering it was made out of stone. The boy would have held onto the wall if it hadn't been for the fact that the basement's wall was sickengly moist and felt rotten. The various dark holes in the wall that held certain _things_ didn't help.

But to Shinji, the worst part about the Matou household's basement was at the bottom. He grimaced when he saw the small lumps of flesh wiggling on the ground, hearing the disgustingly slimy sounds they were making. So many years and he still wasn't used to them. He hated those worms.

Shinji stopped at the bottom of the staircase. He looked at the old man in the center of the room. The familiars were crawling on and around him, and he didn't seem to mind at all. The man was nearly a worm himself, after all.

"Grandfather." the boy called out, trying to sound as respectful as he could.

"Shinji." the old man acknowledged. "To what do I owe this visit so early in the morning?" he asked, sounding somewhat mocking.

Shinji gritted his teeth. He had a feeling that his grandfather exactly knew why he was here. He tried not to show his annoyance.

"It's about Sakura. Do you know where is?"

The old man cackled. "My, Shinji. Are you so worried about your younger sister?"

Thinking to himself that telling his grandfather he just wanted someone he could take his anger out on and especially wanted to show Sakura her place was not the best course of action, Shinji instead said: "Don't you think we should know where she is? Or did you train her all those years just to let her die out there without any effort on your side to stop it?"

The old man cackled again. "She is not in danger right now, don't worry."

The boy frowned at him. "So, you do know where she is?"

"Indeed. She is currently staying at the Tohsaka residence."

Shinji was confused. He didn't really expect Sakura to die yesterday, so he thought she would be with Emiya now. What business did she have with Tohsaka? He snorted. Emiya probably realized that his house was not well-protected enough, so he just asked Tohsaka to let Sakura stay with her for the duration of the war. Probably a sign of trust under allies? Maybe. But there was another question he had in mind. "How do you know that?" he curiously asked his grandfather.

And yet again, the old man cackled. Shinji was starting to get tired of this sound. "I have my ways." he said in a mockingly mysterious voice. Shinji would have openly glared at him if he had had the courage to do so. "But I suppose showing you wouldn't hurt." the withered man mused. "Assassin." he called out.

Assassin? Shinji blinked in confusion. What di- gasping in shock, Shinji stumbled backwards. A white skull mask was appearing from the shadows. "W-What is...?" he stuttered, unable to form coherent thoughts in his head.

"That." his grandfather said with a small smile on his face. "That is my Servant. Assassin."

"Your Servant?" Shinji asked in confusion. "But I thought..."

"Thought? You thought I would leave the war only to Sakura and you, without any back-up plans?" the old man asked amusedly.

Shinji didn't answer. He looked at his grandfather's Servant. Assassin was a very tall (the boy was sure it were at least 2 metres and then some) and slender man, wearing dark and tattered clothes. His left arm was pretty thin, but his left hand almost looked like a claw. As for his right arm and hand... they were completely covered in black bandages. It merely looked like an useless appendage.

"Assassin is good at keeping his presence concealed. He was able to follow Sakura and the Tohsaka magus home, without either of their Servants noticing him. Unfortunately, Assassin is not very useful in direct combat. He should be used to kill the Masters, not the Servants. Stealth is the core element of the Assassin-class." the old man explained. Shinji nodded. "Ha, sneaking in the shadows and taking the enemy by surprise. He could be a suitable Servant for you." the old man laughed. Shinji didn't know whether to feel happy or insulted at the "compliment".

"Ah." his grandfather said as if he forgot something important. "There is also my second Servant." Shinji stared at him. His grandfather had _two _Servants? How was this possible?

"Saber." the old man called out and another dark figure stepped out of the shadows.

The woman wore a black dress. Her hair was a palish blonde, almost looking like a tainted white. The woman's skin was pale as well. She looked rather ill. And although she was easily 10 centimetres smaller than him, Shinji couldn't help but be intimidated by her proud appearance. Her yellow eyes looked at him almost boredly. Shinji recognized her.

"Emiya's Servant." he called out in surprise. He looked at his grandfather in surprise. "How did you...?" The old man chuckled.

"I have my ways." he, once again, said mysteriously. "But you shouldn't concern yourself with this. You had your chance in this war. And you failed miserably." Shinji flinched.

"Is there..." the boy began almost shyly. "Is there really nothing I could do to help the Matou family in getting the grail anymore?"

"Oh, don't worry." his grandfather said. "You will be definitely of use in the future."

Shinji blinked. "What do you mean?"

The old man laughed seemingly heartily at this, but his respone was ambiguous. "Don't worry about it, Shinji. You will find out soon enough."

Concluding his grandfather was mocking him again, Shinji turned around and started to go up the stairs. He stopped halfway through and turned his head to the center of the room when a sudden thought entered his mind. "Since there is probably no one guarding Emiya's house, I'm going to observe it from now on." he said. "I might find out something useful."

"Very well." the old man said, this time sounding slightly surprised and _somewhat_ approving. "Your lack of any magus talents doesn't mean you can't be of any use at all. Go now, Shinji. I have something I must do."

Despite not wanting to be too nosy after getting at least some sort of approval, Shinji just couldn't help but ask: "And what is it that you have to do?"

He couldn't really see his grandfather's face, but Shinji could swear he saw a grin forming on the old man's face.

"Just visiting the descendent of an old friend."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So yeah... I know, it's probably a disappointing chapter after such a long wait. I just wanted to write _something _to let my dear readers know that I don't plan to give up on this story. I really want to finish it!

Have a lovely day, everyone!


	8. Calm Before The Storm

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Fate/Stay Night. If I did, then I probably wouldn't write fanfiction about it. xD

**Author's Note: **Here comes the last chapter before the Einzbern castle/forest fight will begin. I like to call it the calm before the storm... or something. XD Plus, I like writing about dreams, flashbacks and character interactions. Time to answer to the reviewer(s)!

**Splout: **I thought about that one, but still am unsure on how to hande it. Well, I have some ideas... but I dunno! Let's wait and see! Thanks for the review! :)

* * *

_**/**__"I said I don't have time for this! If you want to play, then go play by yourself!"_

_She fell to the ground from his push and cried out in shock and pain. At first Ilya thought he was just being moody, but merely being in a bad mood wouldn't bring him to push her away. She couldn't believe that. Something bad must have happened._

_"Oh..."_

_The little girl looked up to him. Shirou's eyes were wide open. It appeared that he was even more shocked than her. Ilya looked into his eyes, and frowned. She couldn't believe that she didn't realize this sooner. The boy in front of her was about to burst out into tears. Unable to hold her gaze, he looked down and stared at the ground. Ilya didn't know what he expected of her, and she started to feel sad. She opened her mouth._

_"Shirou... I'm sorry."_

_"Huh...?" Shirou stared at her in surprise. "I... pushed you, Ilya. Aren't you angry?" he asked her, almost like he couldn't even forgive himself for merely pushing her._

_"No. You look like you're about to cry, Shirou. I don't think you could take it if I were to hate you." she smiled at him. "So I will be on your side. No matter what you do."_

_"On my side...?" the boy looked at her. Ilya thought she could almost see tears brimming in his eyes._

_"Yeah." she said sincerely. "I love you, so it's only natural that I want to protect you. Right?"_

_There was a small pause. Nobody said anything. Ilya looked at Shirou with a small smile on her face. He was staring into the sky and the stars above him._

_Shirou looked down at her again. Ilya could feel her heart sink as she looked into his expressionless face._

_"I can't do such a thing, Ilya. I'm sorry."_

_The boy seemed to not even acknowledge the tears in his eyes and the obvious pain he felt for his decision. _

_"... Ah. So you are the same as Kiritsugu. You are going to ignore the ones you love for the sake of people you don't even know about." Ilya looked at him sadly, but not surprised._

_"Yeah." Shirou said. "I'm the same as Kiritsugu. Curse me if you want, but that won't change anything. I'm going to become a superhero." _

_"Shirou... I pity you." Ilya said with a sad smile on her face. "You are going to be deceiving yourself forever with that crying face of yours."_

_"... It doesn't matter." the boy said, his face still expressionless. "I will definitely become a superhero. Even if I have to turn my mind into steel."_

_"I see..." she sighed and turned around. She just wanted to get away from there. Betrayed again. And she thought she could..._

_"It was a mistake to come here without Berserker." Shirou interrupted her train of thoughts with his emotionless voice. Ilya turned around to face him again and gasped in shock. He was pointing a gun at her._

_"I will... definitely become a superhero." the boy said, but with the voice of Kiritsugu. She could hear a gunshot and also a voice echoing inside her head as her vision faded, although she didn't recognize the voice. It was a man's voice, but he said something she didn't understand._

_"Jus... ca..."_

_The world turned white.__**/**_

XXX

Ilya's eyes snapped open and she could only barely keep herself from letting out a shriek. 'It was just a nightmare.' she thought to herself. Shirou and her were allies now. Everything was alright. He was not like Kiritsugu. Her heart was still beating fast, but that thought made her feel much better.

... Yeah, he was not like Kiritsugu at all...

XXX

_"I still don't understand." the little girl frowned at the man in front of her, obviously upset. "Why do mommy and you and auntie Saber have to go away?"_

_Her father sighed, but he smiled at Ilya. It didn't reach his eyes. "We have already told you about it, Ilya. We have to go somewhere and do something important."_

_The silver-haired girl looked at him sadly. "You mean the thing auntie Saber came here for?"_

_"Yes."_

_"But... mommy and you and auntie Saber will come back after you're done, right?" Ilya looked at him hopefully, but Kiritsugu gazed to the side._

_"We'll do our best." the man simply said and ruffled through her hair. The little girl giggled at this and hugged her father tightly._

_"I'll miss you..." Ilya whispered and she could feel tears making their way down her face._

_"Yeah... I'll miss you too." Kiritsugu's voice sounded choked, but he quickly regained his composure. "You've already told your mother and Saber goodbye, haven't you?"_

_Ilya nodded happily, and then frowned again. "Mommy and auntie Saber seemed pretty sad..."_

_Her father looked at her thoughtfully, but then grinned. "I guess they are just sad that they have to leave little Ilya here. That's why daddy is sad too."_

_Ilya blinked, and then smiled slightly. "Well, don't worry. Ilya won't go anywhere, so mommy and you and auntie Saber don't have to be sad. I'll just wait until you return and then everything will be alright again! I will take care of the castle until you return, then!" she declared proudly._

_Kiritsugu chuckled. "I'm lucky to have such a responsible daughter. Thanks, Ilya. I feel a lot better now."_

_"Really?" the little girl beamed at him._

_"Really." Kiritsugu said and smiled at her._

_Unable to hold it in anymore, Ilya buried her face into his chest and started to cry softly. "I love you, daddy."_

_Her father embraced her gently. "I love you too, Ilya. If nothing else... I swear that to be true."_

_He let go after a (too) short amount of time and stood up. "Goodbye, Ilya." Kiritsugu turned around and opened the castle's front door. Cool air was blowing into their home and she could see that it was snowing again. She wondered if the snow had a meaning. Perhaps snow meant good things to come..._

_"I'll see you soon, daddy. And mommy... and auntie Saber too!" the little girl exclaimed enthusiastically._

_Her father closed the door behind him without a sound, not looking back even once._

XXX

"... You were a strange man, Kiritsugu." Ilya said to nobody in particular as she finished dressing after her bath.

Did she feel sad after hearing about his death? She definitely felt something, but she couldn't quite tell what it was. Perhaps it really was sadness. She did love her father, after all...

"Lady Ilyasviel!" she heard Sella calling her. "Breakfast is ready!"

"I'm coming!" the silver-haired girl answered.

She took one last look at her image inside the mirror. She didn't really like mirrors. She resembled her mother, so looking into them felt painful.

_"I will always love you, my little Ilya."_

Ilya shook her head and walked towards the kitchen.

XXX

"... Two lousy wooden swords? That's all you have?" Rin raised an eyebrow at Shirou, who looked remarkably flustered.

"W-Well, it's not like I need much more. And additional weight would be just in the way anyway." he complained to her.

"To be fair, Rin... it's not like he would be of much more use even if those two swords were made out of steel." Archer remarked.

"You..." Shirou scowled at him.

"Oh, stop your bickering already. You two are worse than every old married couple ever." Rin growled in obvious annoyance. Sighing, she turned to Shirou. "Emiya, I need to talk to Sakura before we go to the Einzbern castle. Would you mind waiting outside?"

"You're asking me, but it doesn't seem like I get a real choice in that matter."

"Nope!" Rin grinned at him.

The red-haired boy sighed. "Fine. Take care, Sakura. Rider." he turned to the two girls (or in Rider's case woman) and waved at them, smiling slightly.

"Take care." Sakura said, waving and smiling back. Rider merely nodded at him.

After Shirou left, Rin turned to Sakura and regarded her with a worried look. "Are you going to be alright, Sakura?"

"H-How can you ask me that? I should be the one asking that!" Sakura almost shouted, seemingly upset. "I-I don't want any of you to..." she bit her lip.

"To risk our lives for you? Well, too late for that." Rin said, maybe a bit harsher than intended.

"Rider and I could definitely protect you better..." the purple-haired girl whispered.

"If you want to help us, then stay at home with Rider." the older girl said. "You have to be safe, Sakura. You may not like this, but it's the best thing you can do for us right now. We're doing this for you, so you better listen to what we tell you. Got that?"

Sakura only nodded, still rather upset.

"... Look." Rin began hesistantly. "I... just want you to be alright, okay? I want you to be happy and smile when I come back with Archer. So, rest for a while or eat something... or do something else that eases your mind. This is the best thing you can do right now? Okay?"

Sakura's eyes were brimming with tears now. "I-I'm so sorry... I do nothing but cause trouble to everyone..."

"You're a bother, yeah." Rin shrugged. "But you're such a cute bother." she grinned at her younger sister and pinched her cheeks lightly.

Sakura took a step back. "A-Are my feelings a complete joke to you or what?!" she asked rather loudly. "D-Do you enjoy mocking me?"

Rin blinked in surprised: "... I'm sorry, Sakura." the older girl said after a short pause. "I guess I just wanted to lighten things up for a bit." She glanced aside.

The younger girl glanced aside as well. "I... don't like when people mock my feelings."

"I won't do it again, sorry."

"N-No... I was overreacting, that's all."

Archer broke the short awkward silence that ensued after that. "Shouldn't we be going now, Rin? As much as I enjoy making the idiot out there wait, I'd rather we visit that Einzbern girl sooner than later."

"Y-Yeah." the Tohsaka magus agreed. "See you later, Sakura. Rider."

"Be careful, sister. Please come back safely." Sakura said worriedly. It almost sounded like a command, despite the "please". Rider just nodded in Rin's direction. That seemed to be her standard goodbye and greeting. "And you too, Archer. Please protect sister and Shirou." the younger girl added.

The white-haired Servant raised an eyebrow at her, but didn't say anything. He just nodded as if it was self-explanatory. Then he looked at Rider. "What, I don't even get a nod?"

The magenta-haired Servant cocked her head to the side, looked at Sakura, and then nodded in Archer's direction.

"I feel much better now. Thanks." Archer deadpanned.

Suddenly, Sakura took a few steps forward. She looked unsure. "Um..." she started. "Sister, would it be okay if I um..."

Rin sighed. Dealing with her sister's shyness and her stuttering was annoying, but she tried not to show it. "If you want to say something, then say it. But don't waste our time with that annoying stuttering of yours." ... Well, not too much anyway.

That seemed to make Sakura even more nervous, unfortunately. She took a deep breath and blurted out: "Couldyoumaybegivemeahugpleas e?"

"... What?" Rin asked in confusion. Was she supposed to understand those words that sounded like one long pitiful squeak?

"Um... a... hug, please...?" Sakura started at the ground, her cheeks flushing red. "If it's not too much to ask..."

"You don't have to be ashamed for asking that, Sakura. A hug is fine." Rin smiled at her younger sister and embraced her. The younger girl hugged her tightly, but not uncomfortably so. "What do you say, Sakura? Would you mind talking about... the past when I come back later? Just the two of us?"

Sakura nodded and she beamed at her sister. "That... that would be great, sister."

Rin grinned. She liked seeing Sakura like this. "That happy smile fits you much better." she told the younger girl. "It makes your beautiful face even nicer to look at."

Rin grinned even wider when Sakura's cheeks flushed red again. Her younger sister was so easy. "T-Thank you, sister. You have a very beautiful face as well." she offered awkwardly.

"I don't wish to interrupt the two _lovebirds_." Archer remarked dryly. "But we really need to get going now, Rin."

"Right." Rin said, giving her Servant a look that could kill.

"On such occasions I sure am glad that you don't have Mystic Eyes." the white-haired man grinned at her.

"J-Just be careful, you two..." Sakura interjected.

"Yeah, yeah." the older girl said. "Don't worry, Sakura. I'll protect Emiya and that useless Servant of mine."

"I heard that." Archer warned.

"You were supposed to!" Now it was Rin's turn to grin. "By the way, Sakura. Don't call me 'sister' anymore, please. Just call me 'Rin', alright?"

Her younger sister looked at her in confusion. "I don't mind, but why?"

Rin's cheeks slightly tinged pink. "It's pretty awkward, considering... you know..."

"Oh... I um... I guess." Sakura suddenly found the ground to be very interesting.

Archer broke the short and awkward pause yet again.

"Okay, just how often do I have to tell you that we need to get going now?" he complained.

"Alright, alright." Rin exclaimed. "We're going now. Take care of Sakura, Rider."

Rider nodded.

"And Sakura... please get some rest or something. You need the energy."

"Yes, sis- I mean Rin." Sakura smiled sheepishly at her.

"Good. Let's go, Archer."

"About damn time." the white-haired Servant murmured. They walked outside and closed the door behind them.

"What was that?"

"Exactly what it sounded like."

"You..."

The sounds became less and less audible for Sakura, until they drowned out completely.

"Sakura, I would like to speak to Rin and Shirou for a moment. May I?" her Servant asked.

The young girl blinked in surprise at the question, but nodded. "Yeah... but why?"

"There is just something I would like to ask them. Concerning you."

"Alright..." Sakura said with a smile, if a little bit confused.

The magenta-haired Servant vanished. Sakura sighed and let herself fall on the nearest couch.

Her sister, Shirou, Rider, Archer... they were all risking their lives for her while she sat by herself in a safe mansion, doing nothing to help them. But wasn't it always like this? She bothered other people, she couldn't do anything by herself, and even destroyed people's dreams. And yet there were still people willing to put their lives on the line for her. And the worst thing? She let them. Since she was too weak to take care of her by herself, she let other people do everything. People would die in order to save her and she would let them.

"I... really am the worst..."

Sakura silently started to cry.

XXX

"What were you doing, making me wait so long?" Shirou asked. "I'd rather go there sooner than later."

"Well, _I _told her that we, in fact, rather should go there sooner than later, but the two lovebirds had to share their goodbye kiss first." Archer remarked.

"What?!" Shirou's eyes nearly bulged that. "Repeat that?"

"I-It's nothing!" Rin exclaimed in embarrassment. "Archer is just being an idiot." she looked at her Servant in irritation. "Don't say stupid things like that!"

"You're getting awfully defensive." the white-haired man teased. "It's almost as if you wanted her to kiss you goodbye."

"Shut up!" Rin almost shouted, her face rivaling a tomato now. "Don't say weird things like that in front of Emiya! He could misunderstand!"

"Tohsaka!" she turned to Shirou when she heard him calling out to her. "Y-You bettet treat Sakura well if you really do have those sort of feelings for her!" he told her, nearly stuttering and his face nearly as red as hers.

"W-What are you saying?! I do not have those sort of feelings for Sakura! And now quit it! We have to get going now."

Before either Archer or Shirou could say something else, Rider materialized in front of them.

"Rider." Rin and Shriou exclaimed simultaneously and in surprise. Archer eyed her warily.

"Rin. Shirou. I need to ask you something." Sakura's Servant told them.

"Okay... ask." the red-haired boy said confusedly. The girl looked at her thoughtfully.

"I want to ask for your motives. Why are you doing all of this for Sakura?" Rider asked them, her tone indicating that this was an important matter to her. She looked at Shirou first.

"I can't speak for Tohsaka..." Shirou began. "But I do this because Sakura is like family to me. She's always been there for me, so it's only natural that I want to protect her."

"I see." Rider said. She looked at the Tohsaka magus next.

"I haven't been a very good sister." Rin said after a short pause. "I had my reasons for treating Sakura like I did, but I see now... it wasn't right. I made some pretty bad mistakes. I've realized it now. Sakura is my sister... and I love her. I always have. And I _will _protect her, no matter what. I will kill Zouken, win the war and use the grail to save Sakura. You're either with me or against me. Your choice." Rin looked at the Servant expectantly.

"Tohsaka..." Shirou looked at her in surprise. He had never seen her like this before.

Archer seemed like he expected that sort of answer. His face neither looked approving nor disproving.

"I see." Rider said again. She seemed satisfied now. "Very well. I heard what I wanted to hear."

"Is this the part where you nod us goodbye?" Archer deadpanned.

With a nod to Rin and Shirou (but not to Archer, to his unsurprise), Rider de-materialized.

"So... what was that about?" the boy asked Rin confusedly.

"What are you, stupid?" Rin rolled her eyes. "It's obvious that she cares about Sakura a lot."

"No, not that." Shirou said, looking flustered. "I mean the things you said..."

"What about them?" Rin asked. "I was just saying it so dramatically so Rider would understand better. I mean, she probably comes from such a time... i-it's not like I meant it like that, alright?!"

"I found it pretty sweet, to be honest." Shirou grinned at her. "You should tell Sakura about your feelings if you haven't already. I think she deserves to hear that."

"I guess..." the black-haired girl muttered. "But anyway, how are we going to get to the Einzbern territory? Should we call a cab?"

"I've already called one." Shirou informed her. "I've sorta been there once, so I somewhat remember the way. I let the driver drop us off at the forest and then I'll lead the way to the castle."

"Let's hope the girl will recognize you before Berserker gives us his special welcoming gift." Archer noted.

Nobody said another word until the taxi came.

XXX

"Seems like Emiya isn't even at home." Shinji Matou said to himself disappointingly.

Eager to prove himself to his grandfather he wanted to at least be of some use. And since Assassin probably observed the Tohsaka mansion already, he decided to watch the Emiya household. It was not like Emiya himself was a threat or anything, but his allies could operate from there. And he might find some useful information of them here.

"Tch. I'm wasting my time here. Why would anyone operate from Emiya's house? That would be too obvious." he groaned in frustration. "But since I'm here already..." Shinji walked towards the house.

He wouldn't have dared to do such a thing before, but the knowledge that Emiya's Servant belonged to grandfather now was enough for him to decide to break into his house. He might just find something useful there.

XXX

"What do you mean we should go to the city and have fun for today, Ilya? I mean, I don't really mind, but I'm curious." Leysritt asked her master and tilted her head.

"Don't adress lady Illyasviel so casually." Sella scolded her. "And if the lady wishes it, we will do so without hesitation. No questions are needed."

Ilya sighed and smiled slightly at her two almost identical maids. They were both homunculi like her. Like her, they also had silver hair and red eyes. They seemed pretty similiar at first, but they couldn't be more different.

"Now, now." Ilya allayed. "I just want you to have some fun for once... but to be honest, it's more because I'm feeling pretty weird today."

"Lady Illyasviel, what's the matter?" Sella asked her worriedly.

"Nothing. I mean... I'm not sick or anything, but I just have the weird feeling that you two shouldn't be here for today." Ilya groaned in frustration. "I don't really know myself. Just... go, okay?"

"Come on, Sella. Let's dress appropriately first. We can't visit the town with our maid uniforms, can we?" Leysritt exclaimed cheerfully.

"But... I don't like being around people." Sella pouted.

Ilya giggled at her maids' antics, but soon felt rather uneasy. Something was going to happen today, she was sure of it.

And it wasn't going to be pleasant.

XXX

Five minutes after entering the forest, Shirou suddenly gasped in surprise.

"My house..."

Rin and Archer looked at him in confusion. "What is it?" she asked him.

"I-It's nothing. I could have sworn I heard something. A ringing sound. Almost like an alarm..."

Rin turned to Archer. "Did you hear or feel anything?"

He shook his head. The Servant looked at Shirou. "Does your residence have a bounded field? One that can detect intruders?"

"Yeah! That must be it!" the red-haired boy's eyes widened. "Someone's breaking into my house! I have to-"

"No, you won't be going anywhere now!" Rin interrupted him. "We're going to talk to Illyasviel first. We wouldn't get to your house in time anyway. I mean... there's no one at your house right now. Right?"

"No... Taiga can't be there at such a time. And since Sakura's staying at your mansion..." Shirou seemed a bit more at ease, but he still frowned. "But I still don't like it."

"I don't like it either. Something's fishy about this. It's like they waited for such an occasion. I don't like this at all. But well, then again... it could be just a regular burglar." Rin looked thoughtful.

"... That would still suck pretty badly." Shirou remarked.

"Yeah, but an enemy would be worse. They could find things there. Information or something."

"I don't think there's any relevant information in my house... not relevant to them anyway."

"It doesn't matter right now." Archer interjected. "We should talk to the Einzbern Master as soon as possible." he went on ahead.

"Strange..." the red-haired boy said confusedly. "How does Archer know the way to the castle?"

"He can probably sense her or something. Don't concern yourself with it." Rin said, but she, too, felt surprised.

"Right..." Shirou didn't look convinced.

They went on ahead.

XXX

Shinji groaned in frustration.

Groaning in frustration seemed to be about 50 % of the things he was doing today.

He searched the whole house, but he just couldn't find anything relevant at all. "Damn Emiya... and a loser like that was chosen as a Master? What a joke." he growled.

The Matou boy almost wet himself when he heard that ridiculously loud ringing sound after breaking the window to get inside, and he could barely keep himself from running away in panic. Luckily, the sound stopped after a short while. And nobody seemed to pay it any mind. Some luck for once, he guessed.

"I searched everything but the shed..." he said to himself. Telling himself that taking a look inside the shed couldn't hurt, Shinji got up and walked outside. He made a pretty big mess at the house to make it look like an attempted robbery. He even stole some of Emiya's money and possessions. Not that he needed that trash. He wanted to discard it at the nearest garbage can as soon as possible.

About four minutes later he groaned in frustration. Again. There was nothing inside the shed. Nothing but garbage and Emiya's stupid wooden swords. He threw one of them against the wall in anger... and the wall broke.

"Huh?"

He walked towards the little hole in the wall and looked inside. There was definitely something inside. He took the wooden sword and hit the wall again and again. Until the hole got big enough. Once it was big enough, he reached inside and pulled something out. He looked at the thing confusedly. It was a gun.

Shinji knew what guns were, of course. He did watch television sometimes. But what was a gun doing inside Emiya's shed, hidden in the wall? Did Emiya himself hide it? Or maybe Taiga? Everyone knew she was the daughter of a Yakuza boss. Either way, that gun looked strange.

But Shinji could still see something inside that hole. He reached inside and could feel several small things made out of metal. He grabbed some of them and pulled them outside. Bullets. Rather strange-looking ones at that.

He took the gun and the bullets, hid them in his pockets and left the Emiya household. Not before covering the hole, of course.

The Matou boy had a lot to think about.

XXX

"That is not a good idea, Sakura. I advise against it." Rider frowned at her Master.

"Please, Rider... I-I just want to make sure they're safe." Sakura almost pleaded, even though she knew her Servant would eventually go along with it.

"You would be easy prey for Assassin, Sakura. We cannot afford to take this risk."

"Grandfather isn't interested in me right now, I know that. I'm safe here. You have to go and protect the others." Sakura said resolutely. "Besides... I still have my last Command Seal..."

"How do you know that he is not interested in you?"

"I... don't know. I just do... I don't know how I know that..."

The Servant heaved a sigh. "Very well, Sakura. But please... be safe."

"Likewise, Rider." Sakura smiled at her. "I wouldn't want to lose you... you've almost become like an older sister to me."

"Ah... Is that so?" she asked the young girl.

"Yeah... it is." Sakura answered.

"I... I see."

"It's okay if you don't feel the same way about me, Rider. I guess I'm just silly like that..."

"That's not it, Sakura. I'm just... surprised."

"Why?" the purple-haired girl asked in confusion.

"... It doesn't matter. I need to get going now."

Rider vanished without another word, but Sakura could swear that she saw her smiling before she did.

"Well..." Sakura said to herself. "That was a rather awkward conversation..."

XXX

Ilya felt a bit better after Leysritt and Sella left.

At least they weren't in danger anymore... although she still couldn't quite tell why she thought they'd be in danger at all. She just had that weird feeling.

She walked through the Einzbern castle with Berserker on her side, deep in thought. She was thinking a lot about the past these days. It was probably because of the boy. His last name alone sparked memories. Memories that she would rather forget though.

"Berserker, is something wrong?" she looked at the giant next to her worridely. She didn't know why, but she could swear even he felt uneasy.

Yes... danger was approaching. She could feel it. She already maximized the castle's defense. The enemy was powerful. She could feel that. That's why she woke up Berserker too. That's why she sent Leysritt and Sella away. They were supposed to protect her, but she had a feeling that they would just needlessly die here.

But Berserker could match every foe. That's what she told herself, at least. She would just wait for the enemy to come and then Berserker would defeat whoever was foolish enough to approach her castle with malicious intent. With Berserker on her side she had nothing to fear.

Ilya sighed and tried to supress her unease. "With you by my side... I can't lose, can I? Berseker?" she asked the giant. There was no answer, but it was not like she expected it.

Ilya frowned.

The enemy was pretty close now.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Yeah... I think Ilya's flashback was somewhat overdone, but I'm not sure. Just like the "one single tear made it's way down" thingy in the Shinji chapter. That was a bit cliché, I think. I still like it though. xD

Anyway, this chapter contains some hints for some things that will happen in the future. Yay, foreshadowing! Wait, am I even supposed to say that?! W-Well, forget it! All of it!

Have a lovely day!


	9. Wandering Shadow

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Fate/Stay Night. If I did, then I probably wouldn't write fanfiction about it. xD

******Author's Note:** Weeeeeell, so here is the new chapter. I hope you'll like it. It's the last chapter that will follow the canon events, so from now on writing will be both easier and more difficult. If that makes sense. XD

**Splout: **He is a rather unlikeable little weasel, isn't he? I think I may write him too sympathetically, but I don't know. Thanks for the review! :)

**animerose11: **Well, your question should be answered now, although she did appear in the chapter _Basement_ already. Not by name though. Thank you again, for yet another wonderful review! :)

**d: **Hehe, I agree. Don't worry, there won't be any threesomes or harems in this fic. Thanks for the review! :)

* * *

"The castle should be close now." the Tohsaka magus said confidently.

The journey through the Einzbern forest felt rather quick and was uneventful, apart from Shirou running into two or three tree limbs. It was also very quiet. Archer and Shirou didn't even argue with each other. There was a slight feeling of unease around them. Even the white-haired Servant was obviously wary of the situation. That made Rin nervous. If even Archer felt like this, then... well, she didn't want to think about it. She tried to supress her unease as well as she could.

"Yeah, I know." Shirou said with a slightly annoyed tone. "I'm not sure why we need that map anyway. I told you that I know the way to the castle. Or is my guidance not good enough?"

Rin rolled her eyes and giggled. "Oh, come on, Emiya. Sulking doesn't suit you. And besides..." she lightly hit him on the head with her rolled-up map. "What makes more sense? Relying on a map or trusting the memory of some random hallucination?"

"... I guess you have a point." Shirou admitted reluctantly. "But if you put it like that then it's no wonder it sounds so stupid!" he complained. "You'd understand if you had had the dream yourself."

"Or maybe it sounds stupid, because everything that comes out of your mouth does." Archer suggested.

"Y-You..." Shirou flushed red. "You are the stupid one, idiot!"

"Your wit is impressive."

"Not as impressive as your stupidity!"

"Seriously?"

"As serious as the fact that you are an idiot, yes!"

"Okay, just stop it. It is starting to get embarrassing."

"Stop, both of you!" Rin almost shouted. "Can we agree that you're both idiots and move on?"

"But _he _is the bigger idiot." Shirou muttered.

"What was that?" Rin asked him sharply.

"Uh... nothing."

"Yeah. That's what I thought."

They silently kept walking for five more minutes. The brief conversation didn't ease the tense feeling in the air around them, but the bickering made them feel slightly less nervous.

Suddenly, Archer stopped walking and looked like he was concentrating on something. Shirou raised an eyebrow at him and opened his mouth to ask what the matter was, but Rin gestured him to stay quiet.

Archer turned to his Master. "I hear something. The sound of weapons clashing, to be exact." the Servant said.

"You mea-" Rin attempted to ask, but was interrupted by a loud explosion. The trees around them were shaking and the ground was vibrating.

"This is coming from the Einzbern castle!" Shirou exclaimed.

"You don't say." the Tohsaka magus said dryly. "Damnit, this is pissing me off. Why does every chance at getting the advantage disappear as soon as we're getting close to obtaining it?"

"You're talking like all has been lost already. Berserker is a strong Servant. And with Archer helping him out I think we can defeat whatever is attacking him." Shirou said hopefully.

"I think we should get going now." Archer suggested. "Or else we might be too late."

"Right." Rin nodded. She turned to Shirou. "This is your last chance, Emiya. You can still run away. I wouldn't blame you if you did."

"I'm going with you two." Shirou told her with a tone indicating that it was pointless to even argue about it. "I can't just leave while Ilya is in potential danger." The boy took out one of his wooden swords and fiercely glared at the castle's direction.

"Alright." Rin said. She didn't expect anything else. "Archer, lead the way!"

Archer ran ahead with Rin and Shirou following him closely behind. He didn't tell them, because he knew hearing that fact wouldn't have bothered them. And it was better if they were slightly less afraid in the encounter that was about to come.

Yes, the white-haired man was sure of one thing.

Ahead of them was an enemy they could not beat.

XXX

"Run." the giant of steel had said.

Even her Berserker, the mad Servant, knew that this was a foe they could not beat.

And so Ilya ran downstairs, attempting to get out of the castle as fast as possible. Even the mad Berserker knew that he couldn't match the approaching enemy. She scolded herself for not running away sooner.

As the silver-haired girl reached the first floor, she risked a glance out of the window. A giant shadow was leering across the outer walls of the castle. At that moment Ilya's last shred of confidence disappeared. If Berserker and her were to fight that thing... they would lose. Of that she was sure.

Leaving the castle's door behind her, Master and Servant ran into the forest (well, more like Servant was carrying the Master and ran into the forest), but there was already someone waiting for them.

Ilya coldly glared at the old man in front of her, but he just grinned at her.

"How very wise of you, little girl. You flee because you know you cannot win." the withered magus in front of her said mockingly. Ilya jumped down and looked at the worm user with mild resentment.

Zouken Matou. Before she left her home country she was warned of the Makiri magus. It wasn't hard to guess that it was him. His Servant, Assassin, was next to him. He was wearing a white skull mask and looked like a statue next to his Master.

"Ah." Ilya said stoically. "Zouken Matou. You weren't even chosen by the Holy Grail and yet you are acting as a Master?"

She wasn't afraid of the man in front of her. He was nothing compared to the giant shadow behind her.

The Makiri magus in front of her cackled. "Chosen by the Grail, eh? We both know that the Holy Grail does not choose the Masters. It is just a mere vessel. Do you think you are talking to a fool?"

Ilya snorted. The old man was right. The Holy Grail did not choose the Masters. It was a vessel to be filled. Masters were not chosen, they were just prepared as part of the ritual. And Servants were just supposed to open the gate. Nothing but mere tools. She was well-aware of that fact.

"What do you plan on doing with the Grail, Makiri?" the girl asked him. "Perhaps wish for a true heir? Someone who would continue your lineage?"

The old man looked at her amusedly. "The Makiri lineage? Such a thing does not matter to me. No, I desire something else."

Ilya narrowed her eyes. "And what do you desire, old man?"

"Immortality." he simply answered

The silver-haired girl looked at the withered magus in front of her with disdain. "Immortality? So that's how it is." she glared at him angrily. "Have you gone insane?"

"Insane?" Zouken cackled. He gestured at the black figure next to him. "Assassin wishes for his name to remain forever." The white-masked assassin remained silent and motionless. "And I? I wish for true immortality. You see, Einzbern... my body is rotting." the Makiri magus grinned at her. "My brain is deteriorating. Do you know what it feels like? The agony of rotting alive?"

"This is no one's fault but your own." Ilya said coldly. "The human body just can't endure hundreds of years of life. You should have just accepted your death instead of clinging to your life so pathetically."

The old man grinned even wider, seemingly unaffected by the girl's scorn. "Of course." he said as if she just said something he thought she would. "Of course an Einzbern homunculus such as you would not understand. You are not even human. Just a mere puppet, designed to obtain the Grail for your creators. How could you ever understand the human desire for eternal life?"

"If understanding meant to think like you do..." Ilya closed her eyes and smiled slightly. "Then I'd rather stay ignorant for the rest of my life, you pathetic disgrace of a magus. Do you really want to live so desperately?"

Zouken scoffed. "I do not want to die. Is it not natural to fear death? Let me tell you something, girl. If my wish would be granted by killing everyone in the world... I would gladly do so."

The young girl looked at him with disgust. "You are..."

"Hah." the old man grinned. "If there is anything that truly is endless it is human greed. Just imagine." he gestured at a butterfly near to them. "If you were told your life would prolong a day for each butterfly you killed would you not gladly tear thousands of them apart? Just to live longer? Why should it be different with anything else? Butterflies, humans... it is of no importance. Humanity has always been merciless like this. It is only natural, after all..."

The silver-haired girl stared at the man in front of her expressionlessly. "So... that is why you want to obtain the Holy Grail, huh?"

"That's right." Zouken Matou grinned even wider.

"Do you wish to reach its centre?" she smirked at him.

"What...?" the old man asked confusedly and lost his grin at the same time. "I do not need to reach the centre to make a wish. What are you talking about?"

"Oh? And here I thought you perhaps wanted to see me again, Zolgen Makiri." the young girl said mockingly in a voice that didn't belong to her.

Recognition visibly spread through the old magus and he hesitated. He looked thoughtfully at her for a short moment before glaring at her. "I see. So Justicia's mimicry is in your mind."

"Makiri." the woman's voice called his name softly. "Have you really lost your way to this extent? I thought you were better than this." the voice sounded almost disappointed.

The old man tried to say something, but no words came over his lips. He was visibly stunned.

"No... it is 'Matou' now, is it not?" the girl/woman looked at him in distaste. "Zouken Matou... the last of the ones that have started it all. And yet..." she didn't look at him with distaste anymore. It was pity now. "I am not sure if I should really say that. After all... are you really the same person...?"

The old magus didn't grin or laugh at this. He looked the person in front of him with hatred in his eyes. "Enough talk. Your petty tricks will not help you." he seethed. "I will take your body now, Einzbern. The Holy Grail belongs to no one but me."

"Berserker." Ilya called her Servant, and at the same time the woman's presence faded.

What did the old man think? Assassin didn't have a chance against her Berserker. She turned to her Servant just in time to see him swinging his giant axe-sword against the enemy. But it was not Assassin he was aiming for.

It was a shadow.

XXX

"We're almost here." Shirou stated breathlessly as the three of them were still running through the forest.

The ground's vibrations got more and more intense by every second. Archer said it before, but now Rin and Shirou could easily hear the sounds of weapons clashing as well. Berserker's involvement in that fight was obvious now. They recognized the sound of the mad Servant's sword-axe smashing into the earth with ease.

"Behind that next thicket." Rin said.

As the three of them reached the thicket, they could hear Berserker's roar and stopped moments before bursting out in the open. Hiding behind a tree, the three of them observed the battlefield in front of them.

"No way..." Rin said. Archer had a frown on his face. And Shirou... just stared at the third Servant.

Berserker was fighting against two Servants at once. Assassin and a black knight were dancing around him, evading the giant's strikes and trying to unsuccessfully counterattack. The giant of steel roared again and swung his axe-sword at the black knight. The small figure, however, stopped the attack with her sword with relative ease, and created an opening for the skull-masked Servant at the same time. Eager to use this chance, Assassin jumped in and tried to slash at his enemy's head. Though Berserker saw this and used his free hand to punch Assassin away like a rag doll. He hit a nearby tree and landed in front of his Master.

Zouken Matou and Illyasviel von Einzbern were confronting each other in the open field, their Servants in front of them. Assassin was lying in front of Zouken in defeat, but Berserker was still fighting against the mysterious black knight. And... there was also something below the giant. It looked like black mud and Berserker seemed to sink in it. Veins came out of the black mud and supressed the giant's movements. Rin, Shirou and Archer recognized the black shadow immediately.

Zouken looked at Assassin in front of him, who was kneeling now. "The victor is certain. I will leave the rest to you." he said confidently. "The black shadow swallows everything in its way, so be careful. Bring me the girl as soon as Berserker has been consumed. I cannot remain here any longer."

The old man's presence faded away and at the same moment another roar could be heard. The black knight successfully slashed at the giant's right arm and continued to dance around Berserker again, evading his attacks with ease.

"Run..." the little girl behind Berserker whispered. "You have to run away, Berserker. Or you'll die for sure!"

But the giant had already been tainted by the shadow. Most of his body was already black. But... he still advanced with a scream of rage and tried to tear the shadow off his body. No... not only the shadow. Berserker tore the shadow off his body along with his flesh and took one last swing at the black knight in front of him with full force.

The black knight raised her sword and met Berserker's attack with her own.

"No... stop!" Ilya ran towards her giant as fast as she could. "Stop, Berserker!"

"Ilya, don't go!" at the same time Shirou ran out in the open as well.

Archer had the urge to run after the girl as well, but knew he would be of more use in the hiding for the things that were about to come. Rin looked at the scene in front of her with disbelief.

Shirou was much faster than the little girl and so he was able to stop her before she ran into the shadow. The boy grabbed her from behind, lifted her up and turned around to run in the opposite direction. He couldn't even run a metre before the explosion of the two warriors' clash knocked him to the ground.

"This is..." Rin said in surprise, covering her eyes with her hands.

"A Noble Phantasm..." Archer finished for her and frowned.

As they regained their vision, they saw Berserker sinking into the black mud beneath him, defeated. The black knight's helm had been broken by the giant's last attack and they saw the person all of them expected to see... and yet they did not.

"Saber..." the boy's voice didn't sound surprised.

"This can't be." Rin whispered. "What... what has she...?"

"It looks like Saber has been consumed by the shadow. Somehow." the red knight sighed. "I don't know how that's even supposed to work, but we can worry about that later." he readied his bow. "Rin, escape. I will follow you with the idiot and the girl as soon as we can."

Rin knew better than to ask for reasons, and so she turned around and ran as fast as she could.

"This is bad..." the white-haired Servant gritted his teeth and aimed at the black swordswoman, who was standing above Shirou and Ilya. Her sword was pointed at the boy's throat. As soon as Shirou moved, Saber slashed at him, but had to stop her attack to block several arrows that Archer shot at her.

"Archer! What...?" Shirou exclaimed and got up fully, holding Ilya in his arms.

"Take Ilya and run after Rin! My direction!" the red knight told him hastily and shot another few arrows at Saber. Shirou knew that Archer didn't expect his arrows to actually hit her. He just wanted to distract her so he could escape with Ilya. Not wanting to waste this chance, the former Master of Saber quickly tried to flee and run after Rin, still holding Ilya in his arms. The black knight swung at Shirou, but Archer intercepted the attack with his twin blades.

"Sorry, Saber. I can't let you kill those two." Archer grinned at her. Saber's face was expressionless

"Is that so?" she smirked cooly at him. Saber easily pushed him back and glanced at the other Servant. "Archer, you cannot beat me. You are too weak to stand against the cursed sword's layer."

"We'll see about that." the red knight lunged at her with high speed, but his enemy repelled his attacks without much difficulty and easily pushed him back with an attack of her own.

"Damnit." Archer felt the black shadow around his feet. Saber had pushed him into the mud. He could feel the tendrils entangling his feet, but paid it no mind. He had to ready himself for the attack that was about to come.

Saber struck him with so much force that he felt his arms go numb. The red knight was thrown back by her attack, in spite of sinking into the mud and his own defense. He crashed into a nearby tree and groaned in pain.

The dark Servant concentrated on Shirou and Ilya now. The boy looked into her yellow eyes and immediately understood that there was not any mercy to be expected from this Saber. He clenched one of his wooden swords tightly and poured magical energy in it.

"Shirou, you don't have to..." Ilya let go of his arm, seemingly wanting him to hand her over.

"Ilya." the boy said, still looking into Saber's eyes. "Run after Tohsaka. She can bring you to safety." he pushed her lightly away from him. "Go!"

The silver-haired girl took a step back. At that moment the black knight charged at her, but Shirou was in the way.

The boy gripped the wooden sword with two hands and tried to steady himself for the attack, but he barely saw it coming.

"Oh..."

Saber's lightning-fast strike came from the upper left. He couldn't block it. He would die and Ilya would die as well. Tohsaka would die, and so would Sakura eventually. But...

He was still alive. Shirou stared at the sword in front of him. It was centrimetres away from his throat. Saber glanced at him, still expressionlessly, and then jumped back. She silently sheathed her sword and took a few steps back. Shirou looked at her in confusion.

"Why...?" he looked at Saber in bewilderment. He looked at earth in front of her. "Oh."

Now he saw the possible reason as to why he was still alive. The black mud on the ground expanded and Shirou realized that the shadow was about to come out of it. He took Ilya in his arms and took a few steps back.

"I have done what I was supposed to do." Saber said to Assassin, who apparently recovered from his injuries he got in the fight against Berserker, stoically. "I shall leave the rest to you."

"Very well." Assassin bowed slightly to her. "It will make up for losing against the giant. This will be easy."

Saber nodded to him and walked to the black mud. She regarded Shirou and Ilya expressionlessly as she sank into it, like Berserker did.

Shirou started at her until she disappeared completely. 'If only I had been stronger...' he averted his eyes.

"Emiya!"

Rin's voice brought Shirou back from his thoughts. It looked like she didn't run away on her own after all. The boy looked at Assassin and the black shadow in front of him. "Come on, Ilya. Let's get away from here." he took her in his arms and ran after Rin.

They ran through the forest. Shirou followed Rin, holding the small Einzbern girl in his arms. Assassin pursued them through the trees. And then there was still the black shadow following them. It was slower their other enemy, but still fast enough to be a threat.

"Behind you!"

Shirou was well-aware of the enemies behind them, but he couldn't shake them off with Ilya slowing him down.

"Your interference ends here, boy." someone whispered right by his ear. Quickly turning to the sound, Shirou found himself face to face with Assassin. The skull-masked Servant licked his dagger, but couldn't even aim at the boy's throat before being knocked away by a swift kick from his right. There was a red knight running next to Shirou now.

"Archer." Shirou said in surprise. So Saber's attack apparently didn't injure him as much as he thought it would.

"You can't even kill a kid without the element of surprise?" Archer snorted and looked behind at Assassin, who tried to pick himself up. "Take Ilya and run. I will take care of the rear." Archer looked at Assassin and the black shadow. "And hurry. That thing mustn't catch up to us."

"What the hell is that thing anyway?" Shirou asked. He was out of breath, but couldn't hold that question back in his exasperation at the moment.

"We can talk later about it." Archer said. "It wants to kill all of us. That'll have to do for now." he slowed down on purpose a bit and took out his bow. "Run, idiot. Protect Ilya and escape from here!" the red knight began shooting arrows before even finishing his sentence.

And so Shirou resumed running after Rin, the sounds of clashing weapons behind him. He risked some glances at the battle behind him and saw Assassn jumping through the trees and throwing his daggers at both Archer and him, but the white-haired Servant shot all of them down whilst running almost as fast as Shirou himself. Their skull-masked enemy suddenly threw several daggers at once, but even those were repelled without much trouble.

"You should not be able to move anymore!" Assassin snarled at the red knight and retreated backwards.

"I'm not a proper heroic spirit like the others." Archer said in response. "Maybe not to your degree, but..." he charged at the skull-masked Servant and projected his twin blades. "But I'm still a distorted spirit as well!" the red knight swung at Assassin. Although he managed to evade the fatal strike, Assassin's white skull-mask was cut in two and he hastily retreated, clutching his broken mask. He jumped onto a nearby tree and quickly disappeared into the forest.

"Well done, Archer." Rin said, leaning against a tree and breathing heavily. "I don't know how much longer I could have run without a break." she sighed. "You can return to spirit form now. I'm sure you're pretty tired after all of that." Rin smiled at him, not aware of the thing behind her.

"Tohsaka!"

"Huh?" Startled by Shirou's scream, Rin turned around. The shadow was right in front of her. She looked in horror as it shot an extended tentacles at her and tried to jump back, but she knew she couldn't escape it in time. She was about to be pierced by the black tentacle, but got pushed back. Rin fell to the ground and looked at the person in front of her. It was Archer. And he avoided the tentacles himself through sheer luck. He projected his twin blades.

"What are you doing, Archer?" Rin screamed at her Servant in anger, but her voice was trembling. She stood up with shaking feet. "You can't defeat it and you know it!"

"Run!" Archer's shout caused Rin to jump back. "Attacking it would be pointless now. Run!"

Suddenly, the black shadow expanded. Rin could feel that it was sucking the Einzbern forest's magical energy up, and she knew they would get sucked up by it as well if they stayed here any longer.

"Shit." Archer quickly turned around and ran towards his Master, attemtping to shield her for what was about to come.

"Ilya, get down!" Shirou told the little girl and covered her body with his own.

Then the black shadow exploded and their vision was filled with darkness.

* * *

**Author's Note: **So, I'm happy that I have this behind me, since it's the last chapter before the first changes that this AU brings with it really take their effect. I wrote it as differently and at the same time closely to the canon events as I could. I changed some dialogue and things, because dunno. AU. XD

Have a lovely day!


	10. Plight

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything related to Fate/Stay Night. If I did, then I probably wouldn't write fanfiction about it. xD

**Author's Note: **It took me a while to update, so I'm sorry about for those who were annoyed by it. I just had a Fate/zero AU in mind that I'm maybe going to write. Not sure yet.

**Splout: **Hey, you can comment on whatever you like, no problem at all. I'm glad to actually get reviews, and hey... it sort of is an accomplishment to make you despise a character on its own, isn't it? XD Thank you for reviewing! :)

**animerose11: **No problem at all, my favourite reviewer- I mean thanks! Hey, I absolutely do _not_ love your reviews the most, what are you saying?! xD But yeah, many thanks for the review. :)

* * *

As soon as Sakura opened her eyes, an immediate feeling of nausea overwhelmed her.

She had fallen to the ground shortly after she sent Rider away to guard the others. She really didn't want to argue further with her Servant, and she felt that falling to the ground out of weakness wouldn't have helped matters. She even thought about using her last Command Seal for it, but only shortly. True, the combination of Rider arguing against her order and the growing weakness in her legs almost made her want to scream and cry, but she couldn't affort to lose her Servant like this. Not when she was so utterly unable to protect anyone herself. If she were to lose Rider, then she would be truly useless. Now she was supplying prana to someone who could protect the others, at least.

Sakura felt something rise up to her throat. She tried to get on her feet, but the feelings of weak- and hazyness were too much. The girl fell on her knees instead and tried to crawl towards the dressing room, her left hand covering her mouth. She made it to the sink, but couldn't get up in time. So she vomited on the dressing room's floor.

The nightmare. She didn't remember much about it, but she could recall some details. She could remember a giant. She could remember a silver-haired girl screaming. She could remember her grandfather's voice. She could remember a blonde woman with pale skin approaching her. She could remember a red-haired boy picking the silver-haired girl up and running away. She could remember a dark figure with a white skull mask jumping through trees. She could remember a white-haired man driving the dark figure away. She could remember a black-haired girl turning her back on her. She could remember having the desire to impale the girl. She could remember the girl turing around. She could remember seeing the shock on the girl's face. She could remember recognizing that girl. She could remember hesitating. She could remember the girl being pushed back by the white-haired man. She could remember the red-haired boy covering the silver-haired girl's body with his own. She could remember the black-haired girl's body covered by the white-haired man. She could remember having the desire to hurt the red-haired boy and black-haired girl. She could remember not being able to decide. She could remember the confusion hurting her. She could remember running away after that.

Sakura threw up everything she had in her stomach, but she didn't stop vomiting. Blood and gastric juice were dripping on the floor.

She could also remember what she was thinking about before she fell asleep. She wished for both Shirou and her sister to get hurt. Not out of resentment, no... it was because she didn't want them to fight anymore. In short, she wanted to hurt them so they wouldn't get hurt because of her. She couldn't even laugh at the stupidity of that. And yet... she couldn't help but think that she would protect them by hurting them. At least, she wouldn't have to worry about them dying anymore. Just an injury bad enough to make them stop. It was selfish of her, she was perfectly aware of that. They wanted to protect her, and she loved them for it. But at the same time she hated the thought of being utterly unable to protect herself. And she hated herself much more for letting them.

The nausea finally went away and Sakura regained her composure. She crawled away from the puddle on the ground and got up on her feet. She was shaking a bit, but she was feeling a bit stronger now. She looked in the mirror and saw that blood and juices were still leaking out of her mouth. And she saw that she was crying as well. She washed her face and rinsed her mouth with water.

In the end, she couldn't decide. The red-haired boy or the black-haired girl. She couldn't decide who to hurt. She could have hurt both, sure, but she was confused. So she ran away. But at least both were safe, that was the most important part. Truth be told, she didn't want to hurt the white-haired man either, for some reason. This also confused her.

Sakura sighed. She still had to clean her vomit from the floor, and also wanted to prepare some food for her sister, Shirou, Rider and Archer. If she couldn't even do that much, then she hardly deserved to even breath in their presence. Nevermind that thinking about food made her sick right now. And there was also the increasing desire for sex that she tried to supress.

'I'm doing what I can.' the girl thought to herself. 'So please... please don't give up on me.'

Yes... those kind of thoughts made her hate herself all the more.

XXX

Rin regained consciousness in a room rather familiar to her.

"Ah, so you have woken up." a man with a voice she knew all too well said. It was odd that he noticed it right away, but the fake priest wasn't really able to surprise her anymore.

"Kirei...?" she muttered, still feeling slightly sleepy. Rubbing her eyes, she got up from the familiar couch and looked around her. It was definitely the room Kirei and her used to train in.

Kirei Kotomine was standing in front of her, his hands folded behind his back. He was regarding her with a slight smile. She didn't smile back. Instead, she looked around and saw that two other people were in the room, besides Kirei and her.

Illyasviel von Einzbern was sleeping in the arms of Shirou Emiya on another couch. Rin shook her head and blinked lazily. She was glad that those two were alright, but what about Archer?

"Where is Archer...?" she asked, herself more than anyone.

"Your Servant is gone, Rin." Kirei told her. She stared at him in horror.

"W-What do you mean, he's gone?" she asked him, her voice shaking. She quickly looked at her hand and... the Command Seals were still there. "Huh?" she blinked.

"As I have said, he is gone. Servants should not be in this church, as you know. He is probably waiting outside." Kirei mused seemingly innocently, apparently unaware of the girl who was currently glaring at him.

But Rin started to smile in spite of the fake priest's intentionally misleading words. She was really worried about having lost her Archer for a moment, but now all the more glad that this wasn't the case. She was also glad that Emiya and the Einzbern girl seemed to be mostly okay. She wondered how Sakura was feeling right now.

"How did we get here? Did Archer carry us or...?" she asked the man in front of her.

"It seems that Archer and Sakura Matou's Servant carried the three of you here. Thankfully, they understood that they should not be in the church and they left." Kirei told her.

Rin nodded, feeling a little bit angry that Sakura sent her Servant away. Without another word, she got up and started walking towards the door.

"Where are you going, Rin?" the man she turned her back to asked. "Do you not want to wait for Shirou Emiya and the Einzbern girl to wake up?"

"... I do." she said after hesitating for a few seconds. "But I also want to get home as soon as possible." Rin didn't want to tell him the reason though. He would just mock her for it anyway.

The fake priest chuckled as if he just heard something amusing. "Ah, so you do not wish to worry Sakura Matou any longer?"

The Tohsaka magus looked at him angrily. "What are you talking about, Kirei?"

"What other reason could you have for wanting to return home so eagerly?" he asked her. "My guess is that you found her before the boy did, but then couldn't go through with killing her. Then you took her to the Tohsaka residence and are currently letting her live there."

"Are you trying to goad me into revealing that this is indeed the case just for the sake of then telling me you tricked me into admitting it?" she asked him dryly.

"Certainly." Kirei smiled at her, not even trying to deny it.

The black-haired girl didn't really see any point in keeping it a secret from the fake priest anymore, so she chose to tell him. "Yeah, it happened pretty much like you said." Rin sighed. "Thanks again for saving her."

"It was my duty as a man of God." Kirei said simply. "More importantly, how does Sakura feel?"

Rin looked at him confusedly. He never really seemed as the guy who would ask such a question to her. "She's fine." the girl answered.

"Is she, really?" the fake priest asked her, a thoughtful look on his face.

"What do you mean?" Rin frowned.

"Oh, have you not thought of it yourself already?" Kirei did a poor job at supressing his delight, if he even wanted to. "I imagine Sakura Matou's guilt is becoming too heavy to bear for her."

"Her guilt?" the Tohsaka girl narrowed her eyes. "Speak up, Kirei. What the hell do you mean?"

"My, such language in a place of God." the fake priest chuckled. "It is fairly simple. Sakura Matou feels like she is burdening all of you. She cannot do anything herself and must rely on other people risking their lives to save her. It is only natural that she is feeling guilty because of that."

"That's..." Rin glanced aside. "That's not true! This is not Sakura's fault, so why should she feel guilty?!"

'Is that why she sent Rider to protect us? Because she felt guilty at not doing anything?' she thought to herself.

"These kind of feelings do tend to be irrational most of the time." Kirei said amusedly. "Although _your_ feelings of guilt are perfectly rational."

"What?" she glared at him. "This is not my fault, Kirei!"

"You pretended that you never cared for her at all, while she was subjected to horryfying abuse." he told her. "I can imagine that this must have hurt her all the more."

"But that was because I just wante-!"

"You certainly had good intentions, Rin." Kirei interrupted her. "Alas, that does not make the pain Sakura Matou must have felt any more bearable. Do you not agree?"

"... I..." Rin felt her eyes burning. Of course, she did feel guilty because all of that. But she preferred not to think of it. That Kirei practically threw all of this into her face caught her off-guard. She regained her compsure. "Whatever..." she muttered. While she couldn't deny the truth in Kirei's words, she really didn't want to talk about this with him.

She turned to the fake priest. "Hey, Kirei. Tell Emiya to come to my mansion after he wakes up." she paused, then she added: "And also tell him to take the Einzbern girl with him."

"To think you would make demands, even though you owe me." he chuckled again. "I will do as you ask."

"Thanks." Rin reached for the doorhandle.

"Ah, and another thing."

The girl turned her head to the fake priest. "What?" she asked a bit irritated

"You would do good to tell Sakura Matou about your feelings. I am sure that would make her happy." Kirei smiled.

"What's it to you? And what feelings do you mean?"

But the priest didn't seem like he would elaborate and simply looked at her with a slight smile on his face.

"Whatever." Rin said. "It's not like I care about your opinon anyway." she quickly walked outside and closed the door behind her.

And behind that closed door, Kirei Kotomine's smile grew even wider.

XXX

Shinji's eagerness to inform his grandfather about the things he found in Emiya's shed quickly subsided after he had to wait too long in the Matou household's basement. He seriously hated those damn worms. That some of them looked like penises grossed him out even more, but he was used to the sight of them.

Shinji could still remember when he saw this room for the first time. It was the most depraved and sickening thing he had ever seen in his life. The smell of the basement, combined with looking at his sister's naked body in the middle of those disgusting insects, was just too much. He remembered vomiting... and then the insects consuming his vomit.

However... he wanted to be the person in the middle of the room. He wanted to be the girl in the middle of those insects. So what if having insects violate him was a sickening thought? It sure beat being useless. It sure beat being glared at by his father like that. It sure beat being made fun of by his grandfather so often. It sure beat not being special.

Shinji suddenly was aware of another presence in this room, judging from the chill that went down his spine. He assumed his grandfather returned from wherever he went.

"Grandfather?" he called out. "I have something I want to show you."

"Is that so?" he heard a voice from his left.

"Yeah. Look." he walked towards the shadow of his grandfather and put out his hand.

"Hm." the old man reached out and took the gun from Shinji's hand. He made a surprised sound. "Is that...?" his grandfather suddenly started to cackle.

Shinji found the old man's amusement at a simple gun strange. "It's just a gun." he said. "What's so funny about it?"

"To think Kiritsugu Emiya hid his precious Thompson Contender in his shed..." Zouken stepped out of the shadow, causing Shinji to take a step back. "Did you find anything else there?"

"Yeah." Shinji fumbled in his pockets and showed his grandfather one of the bullets.

"Even some of his bullets..." the old man grinned happily.

Shinji looked at him in confusion. "What's with that gun and those bullets? And... Kiritsugu Emiya?"

"Let me explain." Zouken said, giving Shinji the bullets back. "Kiritsugu Emiya was Shirou Emiya's father. Before that, in his prime, he was known as the 'Magus Killer'. A freelancer who specialized in killing magi by combining magic with technology. He was very skilled at it too." he grinned in amusement. "The weapon you are holding in your hands right now was his Mystic Code, the Thompson Contender."

"A gun?" Shinji raised his eyebrows. "Guns can be Mystic Codes?"

"Yes." his granfather nodded. "It is rather rare, since most magi hate guns, but he did not care about such things. To him, magecraft was a mere tool." the old man looked at the gun thoughtfully. "I do not know how exactly it worked, but those special bullets activated as soon as his opponent attempted to defend himself with magecraft. Somehow, it fried all of his magic circuits, making him utterly unable to use magic again."

"So..." Shinji blinked. "Those bullets basically active upon contact with magecraft and then follow it back to its user's origin, completely destroying their circuits?"

"Yes." Zouken nodded. "Although it does not really destroy the circuits from what I have seen. It merely makes them useless."

"That's... good, right? Emiya could have shot you with this, but now he can't!"

"I doubt the young Emiya boy even knew that those things existed in his shed. But you have done well, Shinji. It was a very small risk, but you took care of it. Perhaps you are not quite as useless as your father." the old man said in approval. "I may even have some use for you."

"Really?" Shinji asked, eager to prove himself. "I'll do whatever you tell me!"

"Oh, I do not doubt that." his grandfather eyed him with a slight smile on his fact. He turned around and faced the shadows. "Saber, I think my grandson wishes to fight alongside you. Would you give him a chance?"

Shinji's eyes widened. A pale woman stepped out of the shadows behind Zouken. She looked at the young Matou with a look of bored indifference on her face.

"If my Master wills it, it shall happen." she said emotionlessly.

"Oh, of course." Zouken grinned. "Your Master has already created this, after all." he said, suddenly holding a book Shinji was very familiar with in his hands.

"That's..." Shinji stared at the book. Did his grandfather really give him another chance? It was almost too good to be true.

"Yes. That is the Book of the False Attendant. Sakura was so nice and created it for you again a few hours ago." he held out the book. "Do you wish to be the new Master of Saber, Shinji?"

"Yes!" Shinji laughed. "Of course! I will defeat Tohsaka and Emiya and all of those damn fools. And then I will obtain the Holy Grail for the Matou family." Right now, he neither cared about the fact that Saber was actually Sakura's Servant nor did he care about how in the world Sakura obtained her. All he cared about was his chance to prove himself. To win the Grail War. To establish his superiorty over Tohsaka and Emiya.

In fact, he cared so little that he didn't even question how Sakura was able to create the book, even though she was currenly living in the Tohsaka mansion. He just took the book out of the old man's hand and turned towards Saber.

"... Very well." the woman in the black armor said. "I will accept this boy if my Master wills it."

"Splendid." Zouken glanced at his grandson. "Do not disappoint me again, Shinji."

"I won't!" he said excitedly. "I will definitely come back victorious!"

The old man had already disappeared, but that didn't bother him. He grinned at his new Servant. She didn't grin or smile back, but that didn't bother him either.

Because now he would show everyone. He would show everyone what he was capable of.

He would definitely win the Holy Grail War.

XXX

"You never cease to amuse me, Kotomine." a voice behind the priest laughed. "The Holy Grail was right in front of you, and you let her go like that."

The priest turned to face the laughing man. By now, he wasn't surprised that his Servant randomly materalized in front of him whenever he felt like it. Or behind him. Or on the head of one of the many statues in the church. In fact, the King of Heroes seemed to love appearing in random places just for the hell of it.

"This statue you are standing on is a precious relict of ancient times." but the priest did not sound chastising. "Do you not even respect God?"

"Oh?" The oldest Hero simply jumped down. He regarded the man in front of him with a slight smirk. "You dare hold this against me, Kotomine? What did you tell them again? 'Servants should not be in this church.'" he quoted. "And yet here I am."

"I did not lie, King of Heroes." the priest said amusedly. "It is true that Servants, including you, should not be in this church. However, I never claimed I followed this rule."

"Indeed." the golden-haired man remarked, completely unsurprised by this. "You always did seem to prefer deceiving and false reassurances over outright lying."

"That is because those things are usually far more amusing than simply lying."

"Quite." Gilgamesh said. "I did not expect you to let the boy get away with that doll though."

"The Holy Grail can go wherever it wants to." Kotomine simply said. "It does not concern me."

"Of course." the golden-haired man, again, wasn't surprised. "You do not even have a wish, do you?"

"All I seek is pleasure. I do not need the Grail for this." the priest smiled. "And what about you, Gilgamesh, King of Heroes? You should not have any interest in it either."

"I wonder."

Kotomine raised an eyebrow at him. "So you do have a wish?"

"Who knows?" Gilgamesh said mysteriously.

"... Nevertheless, I am interested in the conclusion of this Grail War. And I am interested in its contents." the priest spoke. "All evils of this world. Brought into existence by people, and yet not wanted by them. It anxiously awaits its birth." he chuckled lightly. "Who am I to deny that wish?"

"Kotomine?" the King of Heroes eyed the priest curiously. "I did not take you for a fool who would talk nonsense to himself."

The priest remained silent.

"And what about using the Grail like last time?" he asked Kotomine. "Would it not please you to see such destruction and tragedy again?"

"There is still something I must know." the priest said, more to himself than to the other man.

"Is that so?" the golden-haired man narrowed his eyes. "Then you do have a wish?"

"I am not sure if I should call it a wish." Kotomine told him. "It is something different."

"What do you mean?"

"I do not really know myself." Kotomine admitted. "But I do know one thing."

Gilgamesh chuckled lightly. "And what do you know, Kotomine?"

The priest turned to the statue again. He smiled as he saw the expression of the dying woman, but it was not a joyful one. He thought of Rin and Sakura Matou. Of Shirou Emiya and Illyasviel von Einzbern. Of Zouken Matou and Kiritsugu Emiya.

"I know that this will prove to be a very interesting war, King of Heroes."

* * *

**Author's Note: **That's one of the first major changes in the story, as you probably realised. Archer survives the events that get him killed in the _Heaven's Feel._ Oh, and Gilgamesh made his appearance.

I hope nobody's going to kill me for making Shinji into Saber's "Master". Please wait until the next chapter, at least. XD

Have a lovely day!


	11. Odds

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything related to Fate/Stay Night. If I did, then I probably wouldn't write fanfiction about it. xD

**Author's Note: **Yeaaaah, it sure took me a while to update this, didn't it? I had a lot of things on my mind and wrote a lot of drabbles. Also, I re-wrote that chapter about a hundred times too. I hope I'll be able to make the time between updates shorter.

**OBSERVER01: **Well, that could mean two things. Either you meant "good it**'s **up" and just forgot the "s" in which case I'd say: "Thank you very much, I try!", or you could mean it in a "make it better, because it's terrible" way... in which case I'd say: "Okay, I'll try!" xD

**Splout: **I'm still wondering about this myself, but I can't really tell either way! I wouldn't want to spoil anything! But I might surprise you! Thanks for the review. :)

**animerose11: **Thanks! And well, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But you're right, some people could be more polite about it. Not that I really care about flamers. As long as just one person likes my writing, I'll definitely continue. ^_^ Thanks for your reviews, I love readint them. :)

**Guest: **Thanks for the review. I'll try to update it more frequently from now on!

**Sakura: **Uh... both Rin and Sakura are over 18, so I don't really know what you're talking about. I think researching before calling names might be a good idea. :V And just saying... no, I don't feel attracted to children.

**Your Mom: **Well, you're entitled to your opinion, but that's just the way I write. Other people like it well enough, but I definitely agree that I could be better. So... yeah!

Chapter start!

* * *

"Stupid fake priest. Who does he think he is, lecturing me like that?"

It was already dark as Rin exited the church, muttering unheard curses at the so-called "man of God" in the building behind her.

She hoped that Sakura hadn't been too worried about them, but the thought that Rider must have told her they were mostly okay consoled the worrying girl a little.

But right now all she really wanted was her bed. She felt pretty weak, since the shadow sucked most of her mana out of her, but her sister had probably made dinner already. That, and a decent amount of sleep, would probably be enough to recharge most of the lost energy.

Rin also wondered if Sakura had enough mana for the duration of the War now. She couldn't help but think back to her night with the purple-haired girl and felt heat rising up to her cheeks. "D-Damnit. Replenishing mana like that. Whose pervert's idea was that?" she complained.

"I don't know, but I should probably thank that person." a certain Servant suddenly materialized in front of her, an irritating smirk on his face. "After all, seeing you flustered like this is really a sight to behold."

"Archer." The knowledge alone was nice, but actually seeing her Servant alive and well was a relief. "Good to see you didn't die in such a stupid way."

"Heh." the white-haired man sounded amused. "I guess you're not going to thank me for saving your life."

"It's not like I asked you to." Rin averted her eyes. "I wouldn't want you to die like that."

"What if it was to save Sakura?" Archer asked. "Would that be a stupid way to die too?"

"... No." Rin sighed in defeat. "Okay. Thank you, Archer. You risked your life to save me. Even though I didn't ask you to."

"This warms my heart."

"Shut up."

They quietly walked towards the Tohsaka mansion. Rin actually was sort of glad that Emiya and Illyasviel hadn't woken up yet. She didn't know how the Einzbern girl would react after losing her Servant and Rin really didn't have the nerve to deal with an upset little girl right now.

"Say, Rin." Archer turned his head to her as they approached the mansion. "Where did you find out about _that _method to recharge mana anyway? Did your parents tell you?"

"No..." The girl's cheeks tinged pink. "Kirei told me about it."

Her Servant looked horrified. "You talked with Kirei Kotomine about sex?"

"Yes." Rin felt anger and embarrassment when she thought back to it. Kirei didn't even try to hide his enjoyment at her reactions. "He... even gave me the talk. And then he showed me a video about it."

Archer snickered.

"That's not funny!" Rin complained. It wasn't, really! It was one of the worst days of her life! Talking with Kirei about sex was even more horrible than it sounded like. "By the way, Archer..." she looked at him suspiciously. "I've meant to ask this for a while, but did you peek on Sakura and me when we...? You know!"

"_I_ didn't." her Servant smiled innocently.

"What do you mean _you_ didn't? Is-" she paused. "... Rider?"

"_She _did."

"Doesn't that woman know any shame at all?" Rin looked appalled.

"To be fair, it was pretty hard to ignore your moans. Not to mention annoying." Archer remarked.

"Archer." the young girl warned. "Don't start that again."

"Alright, alright." her Servant was still smirking. "But you make it pretty easy."

Rin just huffed and started walking faster. Archer sighed.

"Immature brat."

XXX

Saber generally thought of herself as a patient person. She had to be patient as the ruler of a country, and she met a lot of very unpleasant people during her time as the King of Britain after all. Very careful not to show any irritation, her face a flawless mask to hide her true emotions. That was how she dealt with annoying things.

The boy, however, was pushing it.

Since the moment the old man had left, the irritating blue-haired brat started babbling without any sign of stopping. She tried to tune his voice out, but a little bit always managed to leak through. According to the boy, they would win the War and she should be glad to have such a great Master like him. Didn't that idiot realize he was just a designated pawn to everyone and everything around him? Not to mention that he was a failure as a magus? Apparently not. But pawn or not, she still had to fight alongside him.

Saber sighed.

"I know, right?" the boy snorted.

She blinked. Did he take that as an answer to... whatever he was talking about? She thought that perhaps trying to listen to that boy once in a while couldn't hurt. There was nothing better to do, she was bored and he could have talked about something interesting after all!

"-saka thinks she's so great, but what is she without her magic? True, she's pretty popular... and good-looking... and rich... and intelligent, but what does she have apart from that?"

On the other hand, she thought, listening to him could have been highly disadvantageous. Because she would have probably cut him in half if she had had to listen to that fool for more than five minutes.

The Matou mansion wasn't a bad place to stay in spite of the boy though. She didn't want to visit the basement if she could help it, but the rest was fairly pleasant. Bigger than that... other house she stayed at, from what she could remember. That was back when she was still that blue Saber. She was well aware of the fact that the Grail had tainted her, which was possibly one of the reasons why her temper seemed to have become worse. She was sure that the blue Saber could have possible tolerated the Matou boy's presence a bit better. She also seemed to enjoy battle more than the blue Saber, if only by a small margin.

"Boy, I shall require food. And make it edible." Her appetite remained unchanged though.

The boy was startled. Probably because she never talked since she had met him about two hours ago. Also because she interrupted him in the middle of his idiotic rant. Oh, and probably because she sounded like she was about to impale him on her sword. But hey, she was really hungry!

"I-I'm your Master, not your maid!" he stammered. "You don't have to eat anything anyway! Grandfather told me that!"

"First, you are not my real Master, nor do I see you as worthy enough of even cleaning my boots." Saber's face was as expressionless as always around him ("always" being the 2 hours they had spent together yet), but her tone indicated that she wasn't in the mood to debate. "Second, it is true that eating is not a necessity, but I want to. And third, never talk back to me again. I do not tolerate your idiotic behavior."

The boy looked at her with fear and gulped. Saber regarded him cooly. True, her words may have been a little bit harsh, since he didn't actually say anything bad, but she wanted him to realize that he shouldn't take her lightly as soon and clear as possible. ... And she was really hungry too!

"I can't cook particulary well..."

"Do your best." Saber sat down on the couch nearby and closed her eyes, indicating that this discussion was to be over now. "And hurry up. My mood worsens the hungrier I get."

That seemed to do the trick for the Matou boy, considering how fast he hurried towards the kitchen. It probably helped that Saber trailed her fingers over her blade while she said that. She never thought she would use her unholy sword simply to scare a boy.

But she really _was _hungry!

XXX

**/**_"Sakura._

_Sakura._

_Sakura._

_Hey, Sakura. Ignoring an old friend is pretty impolite, don't you agree?"_

_The voice giggled._

_Sakura opened her eyes and looked at the world around her. She was in a dark cave. Strange red seals were carved on the ground and on rocks nearby. "... Am I dreaming? This seems so real..."_

_"You are dreaming, but all of this is real. Does that make sense?" the voice giggled again._

_"I... I don't know." Sakura whispered. The voice seemed so familiar. _

_"I don't doubt that I sound familiar, silly." the voice said cheerfully. "I know you better than anyone else, after all."_

_'She can read my thoughts?' Sakura looked around her again. She didn't see anyone._

_"I think what you think. I feel what you feel."_

_"What does that mean?" she asked the voice. "Who are you?" a ridiculous thought entered her head. "The embodiment of my hatred or something like that?"_

_"My, my. That's a bit cliché, don't you think?" the voice giggled for a third time. Sakura found it rather irritating. "But no. I'm simply what you would be like if you didn't pretend to be someone else all of the time."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Just look at you. 'Senpai, senpai. Look at me, I'm so polite and proper and soft spoken, like a woman should be! Please like me.'" the voice sneered. "Disgusting. You're just pretending. The truth is, you desire to lash out at everyone. Grandfather for torturing you like this, big brother for doing all those humiliating and degrading things to you, senpai for not noticing you as a woman, sister for living in ignorance and treating you like a stranger. And there are more you wish to hurt. Everyone else for not noticing it. You wish to kill everyone."_

_"I don't want that." Sakura was feeling strangely serene. The voice's words should have upset her, but they didn't for some reason. "And why are you adressing me as 'you'? If what you claim was true, wouldn't a 'we' be more appropriate? Or an 'I'?"_

_"Semantics." Sakura heard steps and the voice giggling for the fourth time. She looked around again and she saw her._

_In front of her stood a girl that resembled her, but at the same time not. The girl's hair was white instead of purple, the eyes a dull red instead of her purple ones. She also was naked, her skin covered with red markings._

_"You look similiar to me." Sakura remarked. "But you aren't me."_

_"But I could be." the white-haired girl said. "I could be you and you could be me."_

_"I don't think I understand." she eyed the girl's body and shivered. _

_"Of course you don't. You're an idiot." the girl's red eyes also seemed to look at her body... and Sakura realized she was naked as well. She covered her breasts on instinct. The girl laughed. "You're silly. We have the same body. If I looked at my own, I'd also see what your body looks like."_

_"What do you want from me?" _

_"I thought that was pretty obvious. I want you to act your true feelings out. Let your anger out on everyone. Kill them." the girl said in a way one would speak about the weather._

_"Why? Why do you want that?"_

_"You sure are asking a lot of questions." the white-haired girl mused. "But the answer is simple. I want it because you want it."_

_"I don't!" Sakura almost yelled. "I don't want that at all!"_

_"It's a shame though." the girl said, ignoring Sakura's cries. "I'm sure you would have broken earlier if you hadn't become friends with senpai. Remember his stupid dream of being a hero? In a way, he already saved a lot of people just by being friends with you. Of course, he could have simply postponed their death sentence as well. It depends on whether you'll lose it before someone else kills you or not."_

_"'Lose it'"? Sakura echoed. "What does that mean?"_

_"And then there is also your sister." the girl kept ignoring her. "Yes... you sure felt happy when she took you to her mansion, didn't you? And when she made tea for you and when she told you how delicious your cooking was?"_

_Sakura smiled slightly. Happy memories were rare, so she was glad that her sister gave her so many in just one night. It also gave her a tiny bit of hope. Hope that everything could turn out well for her after the War. Senpai and her sister would rescue her from grandfather, brother would become nice again and she would finally have a sister... yeah, it was a nice dream. Sakura had thought she wasn't capable of feeling something like hope anymore, but she couldn't help it. Even though she was aware of the fact that her hopes would get mercilessly destroyed, which would hurt her even more than if she hadn't hoped for a single good thing at all. So she did hope, but made sure to remember that she couldn't be saved. That was all._

_"I wonder though..." red eyes looked at her coldly. "Why the sudden change? Why doesn't she ignore you anymore? She made it pretty obvious that she never cared about your situation at all."_

_"Because she didn't know." Sakura answered. "She never knew about my situation until the priest explained it to her. And I know what magi are like... f-father's influence made sister think she was supposed to kill me. But she couldn't. She couldn't kill me. That's why... I know that she cares about me. That we're sisters. Our bond never broke."_

_"She is a magus. She doesn't see you as her sister, she just thought that killing you wouldn't benefit her as much as exploiting you would! She'll kill you at the first sign of danger and cast you aside after you've served your purpose! That's how magi are!"_

_"My sister isn't like that." Sakura said softly. "She made a real effort to make me feel happy. She even had sex with me in order to recharge my mana. She won't cast me aside. I refuse to believe that."_

_"You are a fool if you really believe that." the girl hissed. "She hurt you so much by behaving so coldly during all of those years. And you're just going to ignore that? Why? Does she really deserve your forgiveness?!"_

_"She didn't know." Sakura repeated. "She would have definitely saved me if she had found out about all of this earlier. I'm sure of that. And yesterday was just... I can't hate her. I just can't. It's impossible."_

_"Are you trying to convince me? Or yourself?" the girl asked her sharply. "I can feel your resentment, your anger. You can't fool me. I know that you desire to hurt her."_

_"Those feelings..." Sakura winced. "No. Those feelings are stupid and irrational. They're dangerous. My sister doesn't deserve to be hated for this."_

_"But you do have them!" red eyes furiously glared at her purple ones. "For a good reason. You musn't forget about them! And you mustn't forgive her!"_

_"Go away."_

_"No, you-"_

_"Go away."_

_"-can't simply forget-"_

_"Go away!"_

_"-about the-"_

_"Go away!"_

_"-pain you feel!"_

_"GO AWAY!"_

_The girl and the cave in front of her became blurred and she felt someone's hands on her shoulders. And yet the girl's words still rang in her head like an echo._

_"You can't forgive her."**/**_

_XXX_

"-up damnit!"

Sakura was greeted with frightened aqua eyes as she opened her own. She lazily blinked a few times.

"Are you okay?" her sister asked her, the worry evident in her voice. And in her face, for that matter. Sakura felt a twinge of happiness and guilt at this. Happiness, because it was obvious that her sister cared about her well-being. Guilt, because she shouldn't have felt happy about her worrying.

"I-I'm fine." she reassured her sister, but her trembling betrayed her words.

A slightly awkward silence followed as Sakura tried to regain her composure. She noticed Archer standing a few metres behind Rin, an odd look on his face. Rider was standing next to him and even though Rider's face was expressionless, she somehow knew that her magenta-haired Servant was worried as well.

"Well..." Rin hesistantly broke the silence. "We're back." she stated unnecessarily.

"You're back." Sakura acknowledged just as unnecessarily.

"Now that we've clarified that yes, we indeed are back, how about we talk about our current predicament?" Archer suggested. "You've seen what this shadow can do, Rin."

"Yeah." Rin admitted. She wasn't all too happy that her Servant brought this up now, but she knew they had to talk about it. She sighed. "No idea how we're supposed to fight that thing. It sucked my mana out of me and I couldn't do anything about it. I wonder why it disappeared so suddenly though."

Archer frowned. "I don't know, but we can't rely on the assumption that it'll do the same in the future. That thing could have killed us back there with ease."

"Do you remember what happened? Why it left?"

"That's a good question." he said. "I don't really know what happened, but it seemed like it was going to attack either the Einzbern girl and Shirou Emiya or us. It looked like it couldn't decide and eventually just... hurried away."

"That means grandfather doesn't control that shadow, right?" Sakura interjected suddenly. "I don't think he would have let you get away."

"Yeah." Rin agreed. "It's more likely that Zouken just unleashes it or... I don't know." she groaned. "I don't understand that stupid shadow at all."

"Um..." the purple-haired girl looked at her sister and the red Servant carefully. "How is... senpai doing?"

"Emiya is alright." her sister assured her. "He ran out like an idiot when Illyasviel was in danger, but he is alright."

"It's a good thing he did though." Archer said to everyone's surprise. They had gotten used to him belittling and insulting the red-haired boy at every opportunity. "Zouken can't have her. It would be bad."

"Why?" Rin asked bluntly. "It's not like she's of much use without Berserker and she tried to kill us."

"Zouken wants to have her. Therefore, it would be bad." Archer said flatly.

"... I can't argue that logic." the Tohsaka magus grimaced when she thought back to the Matou household's basement. She instantly felt anger and disgust flaring up inside her at the thought that unspeakable things had been done to Sakura in that room, and to an extent what he must have done to so many others. "It's too bad that the old bastard disappeared before I was able to blow his head off."

"Not that it would have helped much." her Servant interjected. "Remember, he's made of worms."

"I know." Rin smirked. "But it would have made me feel a lot better."

"Fair enough." Archer chuckled. "Anyway, the shadow is not our only problem. There are also Assassin and, more importantly, Saber."

"S-Saber?" Sakura asked. "I thought..."

"Yeah, we thought the same." her older sister said. "But she's alive. And the shadow somehow corrupted her."

"Corrupted? What do you mean?" everyone looked into Rider's direction as Sakura's Servant broke her silence.

"Another good question." Archer started walking into the kitchen's direction. "Explain what I've already told you, Rin. I'll make us some tea."

"Good idea." the black-haired girl yawned as Archer disappeared into the kitchen.

"Today must have been tiring." Sakura said sympathetically. "But I'm glad you're safe." she smiled.

"Yeah." Rin smiled back. "And I'm glad you've recovered from your nightmare." she didn't really want to pry, but her curiousity got the best of her, so she asked: "Do you remember what it was about?"

Sakura winced. "I do, but... could we not talk about it, please? It's... something I don't feel comfortable talking about..."

"Of course!" the older girl said hastily. "We won't have to talk about it at all if it makes you feel bad."

"Thank you." Sakura's smile got brighter. "Ah, I forgot to tell you. The dinner is in the fridge. I've prepared it before I fell asleep."

"Don't overexert yourself though." Rin admonished. "Your health is more important than dinner."

"You're right." the younger girl nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Again?" Rin groaned. "Stop apologizing for stupid things. We've already had this conversation!"

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"Are you kidding me?" the older girl asked in irration, leaning forward. "Sakura, if you don't stop-"

"Yes." Sakura interrupted her and started to giggle. "Yes, I'm kidding."

Rin looked at her sullenly. She could see Rider smiling slightly as well. "That's not funny." she mumbled.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"Sakura!"

"Alright, alright." the still giggling girl allayed. "No more apologizing or jokes about apologizing. I promise."

"Good." Rin huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "It's annoying when you do that. You have nothing to apologize for."

"I agree." Rider put her right hand on her Master's shoulder.

"Um..." Sakura shifted uncomfortably. "What was that about Saber...?"

"Ah, right." Rin leaned back in her seat. "Saber and Assassin were fighting Berserker when we arrived at the Einzbern castle. We didn't see much of the fight though, because the shadow swallowed Berserker not long after we've arrived. Saber then threatened Emiya, but stopped before killing him. She told Assassin to finish the job and let herself be swallowed by the shadow." she explained, leaving some details that she deemed as unnecessary out. "Saber's armor was black and so was her sword. She seemed more powerful than she was before as well."

"D-Do you think she shadow did something similiar to Berserker?" Sakura asked.

"... I don't know." Rin gulped. The thought of Berserker being corrupted and even more powerful made her feel uneasy.

"You said Saber stopped before killing Shirou and told Assassin to do it instead." Rider looked thoughtful. "It would have taken her a second to do so. It doesn't make sense that she would stop so suddenly. I believe it could mean that Saber still feels loyalty towards her old Master."

"That's true." Archer walked towards the three women, carrying a tray with four cups of tea on it. "But we can't rely on that either."

"Yeah..." Rin nipped on her tea cup. "The odds are against us. Zouken has Saber and Assassin. And maybe even Berserker, which would make things even worse. There is also the chance that he could turn Sakura into his puppet." the mentioned girl flinched at this. "And then there is that shadow..." she sighed, then smiled slightly. "But our chances aren't _that _bad. Zouken may be a threat with those disgusting worms of his, but I'm confident in my own abilities. And even if I can't beat him on my own, having Emiya to support me would increase the odds. Maybe we could even get Illyasviel to help us. And Saber may be strong, but Archer and Rider should be able to beat her together."

"What about Assassin and Berserker?"

Rin gritted her teeth and glared at Archer. "I'll think of a plan. We wouldn't have to worry about Assassin if you had cut his head off instead of making that stupid spin kick, you poser!"

"He was about to kill the idiot. I reacted without thinking!" Archer protested. "Speaking of him..." he grimaced. "I know of a way that could make him stronger. He might be of use if I do that."

"Make him stronger? How?" Rin asked quizzically. Rider and Sakura looked confused as well. "What do you mean?"

"I'll explain it later when Shirou Emiya arrives with Illyasviel. I don't feel like repeating myself."

"Fine." she finished the rest of her tea. "I'm counting on you, Archer. Try not to kill each other."

Archer flashed her his best smile. "Please, Rin. Don't you trust your Servant?"

"No."

"Smart girl."

XXX

Shinji never liked cooking. It was a chore. Boring. Pointless. Something servants and women were supposed to do, not someone like him. He couldn't believe that his new Servant would be so disobedient! For all her faults, at least Rider always did what he told her to. Saber, on the other hand, treated him like trash and even told him that much! He hated that bitch already.

Still... his cowardice beat his pride in the end, and so he was serving Saber a ridiculous amount (he had no idea how she could eat that much) of food. He thought of himself as a decent cook, at least. Sakura usually cooked for him, but he had to learn how to do it himself eventually. Why? Because she was staying with Emiya of course! The mere thought made him want to smash something.

Shinji couldn't help but watch with pride as Saber practically wolfed her first serving down. Sure, he was still pissed at her for making him do this, but maybe she would appreciate him a little more now. He smirked.

"This is horrible." Saber said blankly and teared into her rice. "And you consider yourself a competent cook? How pitiful."

Shinji's smirk fell.

"Seconds." she commanded.

"How come you want seconds if it tastes so awful?" Shinji sulked. "And if it tastes so awful, why did it look like you were practically eating the plate just now?"

"I'm hungry and used to eating horrible meals. Don't make me repeat myself." Saber growled.

Gritting his teeth, the Matou boy took the plate and proceeded to refill it. "Patience, Shinji. Patience." he said to himself. "She'll get what's coming to her. Everyone will. They'll all see what I can do."

"What is taking you so long?" he heard Saber ask in slight irritation.

"You'll be the first one to suffer, you damn bitch." Shinji muttered.

"What?"

Shinji staggered at the girl's sharp tone and forced his best smile on his face.

"I-I asked if you would like some ice cream after dinner."

"Why not? It will wash the terrible taste of your food out of my mouth if nothing else."

Shinji's smile fell.

XXX

The city felt quiet and almost peaceful at night as his red eyes studied it, ignorant of the mysterious black shadow that went around and ate it's people.

Gilgamesh would have thought of this as amusing if he hadn't found the shadow so distasteful. It was disgusting and he could barely tolerate the fact that an unworthy thing like that shadow ate _his _people.

However, he could appreciate that this shy and pathetic girl, of all people, was the one who did all of this. Albeit she did all of this unconsciously, the knowledge of having done all of this would horrify and disgust her to no end nonetheless. Gilgamesh chuckled. Yes, he could see why Kotomine wanted to keep the girl alive. She would suffer and hate herself so much, it probably made the priest's heart shake with joy. He almost found it amusing as well, but it wasn't right that his people were killed by something so unworthy.

Gilgamesh gave her a fair chance as well. He didn't explain the situation to her, but he did suggest that killing herself would be the most merciful option. He could have killed her himself of course, but where was the fun in that?

But perhaps, he thought, perhaps it was better to kill her anyway. He was interested in what Kotomine was planning, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could tolerate the shadow's mere existence.

Nonetheless, it didn't look like the shadow would rampage through the city tonight. So perhaps he could tolerate it's existence longer. He licked his lips. Maybe some wine could ease his bad mood a little. Still, he would have to make sure to observe the city tomorrow as well.

After all, the people in this city were his belongings. And it was his responsibility as a king to make sure they would get the deaths they deserved.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Not much to say here, except that I'm not all too happy with Sakura's dream sequence. I don't know if I could express that Sakura feels both hopeful and hopeless at the same time and that this contradiction is not good for her mental health well enough. Well... I hope you liked it anyway. xD

Have a lovely day!


	12. Growing Feelings

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything related to Fate/Stay Night. If I did, then I probably wouldn't write fanfiction about it. xD

**Author's Note: **People called me crazy for believing trying to write a different story could help me get over my writer's block, but I proved them wrong! ... Okay, it was only me who believed I was crazy. And I don't know why I did anyway... so, yay. New chapter!

I feel I've been neglecting Rin x Sakura a bit, but I don't want to neglect _Heaven's Feel_'s plot either. I'll try to manage. This chapter is mostly about the sisters' relationship.

**OBSERVER01:** I try to make things interesting. xD Thanks for the review.

**animerose11: **It's okay. I'm not really one to write comedy usually, but I shamelessly admit that I find Saber Alter treating Shinji like a tool is something I find to be hilarious. xDD Thanks for the review. :)

**Reishin Amara: **Cool, I hope things will stay interesting. Thanks for the review.

**RagAltima: **Aaargh, you're totally right. I'll have to change that. And I also wasn't happy with that dream sequence in the first place, but now I know I'll have to rewrite it. Thanks for pointing it out. But I'm happy that you like how I'm writing Archer. Thanks for the review.

**Failure: **Aww, that's really sweet of you. I try to write the characters fairly in-character, but I'm awful at judging that sort of thing, so I'm not really sure. But thanks for the review. XD

Chapter 12!

* * *

"To Tohsaka's mansion?" Shirou Emiya blinked, although he couldn't say he was very surprised. Where did he think Tohsaka went to? To the Emiya household? A pretty ridiculous thought.

"Yes. Rin told me to pass this information onto you." The priest answered.

"Hmph." Ilya pouted. "It's not really appropriate for an Einzbern to cooperate with a Tohsaka."

Shirou laughed nervously. "It should be okay for you, Ilya. Sakura is a magus of the Matou family, but Tohsaka allied with her too." He explained, trying to reassure her.

"Eh?" The silver-haired girl made a shocked face. "So I'm going to cooperate with a Tohsaka _and _a Makiri? As a magus of the Einzbern family, I can't possibly accept this!"

"W-Wait a second, Ilya!" The flustered boy tried to allay. "Sakura is my friend and Tohsaka is... uh..." He tried to find the right words, but Ilya's deadpan expression and Kotomine's light chuckle made this harder than it should have been. "What I'm saying is we can trust both of them!" He finished lamely, but it seemed to calm the upset girl down a little, oddly enough.

"If you say so." She mumbled, clearly not happy, but at least a little less unhappy than before. "I still don't see why I can't just go back to my castle."

"Zouken Matou will try to kidnap you." For the first time since he had met the man, the priest actually said something that Shirou was grateful for. Even if he could have thought of this himself. "Certainly, it would be better if you were under protection."

"That might be true, but why does it have to be a Tohsaka?" Ilya complained childishly.

"I do not mind taking care of Illyasviel for the duration of the War. It is my role as a supervisor, after all." Kotomine suggested helpfully, but the thought of the priest taking care of Ilya scared Shirou more than a little.

"No way. I will take care of Ilya." The red-haired boy said resolutely. "I'm her guardian now, so it's only natural."

"Yeah! You're my new Servant now, Shirou!" Ilya's adorable smile and delighted face more than made up for this otherwise exhausting day, Shirou thought.

"I see." Kotomine said acceptingly. "Then I suggest you leave soon. You would not want to make Rin wait, would you?"

"Yeah." Shirou nodded. "Thanks for taking care of us, Kotomine."

"There is no need to thank me, Shirou Emiya." The priest smiled knowingly. "It was my duty as a man of God."

The boy opened the church's door. "Come on, Ilya. I bet you're tired too." He also didn't like to be in the church, but he didn't want to mention that. They left the church, an indifferent gaze following them.

Another thing they didn't notice was a different pair of eyes looking at them with mild curiousity from the church's roof.

XXX

Rin suggested to wait for Emiya and Illyasviel before they discussed further tactics, since there was no point in repeating everything to them. Everyone agreed, and so Archer and Rider dematerialized and went into Spirit Form. The two sisters made themselves another can of tea and sat down in the living room, waiting.

Sakura was feeling a little anxious. Her sister had promised they would talk about their past after Rin's journey to the Einzbern forest. Well, she didn't exactly know what past they were supposed to talk about, since she barely remembered her time with the Tohsaka family, but maybe Rin's stories would refresh her memory a little. She was mostly feeling anxious, because they had been sitting in mostly silence for almost thirty minutes now. Rin didn't show any sign of wanting to talk at all. Sakura tried to make some small talk every now and then, but her sister's answers were either unintelligible grumbling or just painfully short.

It was understandable. Rin's day had been very exhausting and tiring, not to mention that the strange Shadow consumed a lot of her mana. So there was no good reason to feel upset over it.

Then why did she?

It was not like she was blaming Rin for it, she just wanted to talk to her. And besides, she didn't have a wonderful day either. So why couldn't her sister... no. It wasn't right to think of it like this. It wasn't right to think that she deserved more than her sister's protection. And she felt that even her sister's protection was something she didn't deserve. The girl winced. Rin got very annoyed when Sakura expressed confusion at this. And-

Sakura gasped in surprise when she felt her sister's head on her shoulder.

"Sis- Rin?" Sakura whispered, remembering the older girl asked her to call her by her name in time. "Um... are you asleep?"

Instead of answering, Rin's head slid down until it was resting on Sakura's legs. She _really _must have been tired. Stray stands were hanging in front of her face, which Sakura brushed aside on impulse. She was jealous. People told Sakura her purple hair looked exotic and pretty, but she felt nothing but slight contempt disdain when she brushed it in the morning or dried it after taking a shower. That purple hair reminded her of nothing but pain and humiliation. How could she ever find it anything else other than ugly?

Her sister's black hair was full and always looked pretty. But that was one of the less things she was jealous of. It didn't matter right now though. Because right now she was stroking her sleeping sister's beautiful hair and she was pretty sure she was the only person who was allowed to do this.

Suddenly, a surge of happiness shot through her at the thought of it. Would it have been a stretch to say that she currently was the person her sister was the closest with? Sakura didn't think it was. Did the fact that Rin had her first time with her help in this? Sakura didn't really know how that worked either. It was her own first time as well. Well, her consensual first time anyway (that the worms in her body sparked this didn't matter to her this time). And her first time with another girl.

That she seemed to be attracted to other girls didn't really bother her. She suspected something like that when she saw Rider for the first time, where her first thought was how beautiful the Servant was. And before that there also was the archery captain Ayako Mitsuzuri, a girl she had always admired for being so cool and surprisingly nice and helpful once you got past her (not very) tough exterior. Even then she had her suspicions about her feelings being purely platonic, but she never gave it much thought.

"My first real hug, first real kiss, first real time of having sex... it was all with you." Sakura quietly said to her sleeping sister. "I wonder how that would make you feel."

"You took all of my first times as well." Her, apparently not sleeping, sister retorted. Ignoring her sister's wince, Rin added: "And I'm not sure how that makes me feel."

"Bad." Sakura said. "You would rather have kissed someone you loved. It's the same with sex. Isn't it? And I ruined it."

"Eh, I guess I would have." Rin sat up. "But there's no one I particulary like, so I don't care much. A kiss is a kiss." She yawned. "It doesn't matter who the first person was. It's not like it loses it's meaning, does it?"

"I don't know." The younger girl said, feeling just a tad of relief. "So you don't care that I was your first time?"

"Not really." Rin answered. "It made things awkward, but I don't regret doing it. Do you?"

Sakura laughed softly. "It saved my life. How could I regret it? I do feel bad that I made you do something you wouldn't have done otherwise."

"It's not like that was your fault." Rin glanced aside. "I'm going to kill that old bastard."

"I don't want to talk about him."

"Okay." She paused. "If you don't mind telling me about it, how was your life apart from your..." Rin bit her lip. "... training sessions?" She finished lamely.

"Grandfather mostly ignored me. So did father. My brother bullied me sometimes, but he treated me nicely most of the time." Sakura told her older sister.

"Shinji actually treated you nicely?" Her older sister frowned. "What happened?"

"He found out about the truth. How he had never any talent and I was adopted to become the new Matou heir. He started to be mean to me after that."

"Understatement of the year." Rin snorted. "I always knew Shinji was an asshole, but I wouldn't have guessed he was _that _much of a pathetic moron. I'm going to make him pay too."

"Please don't hurt him, Rin." Sakura pleaded. "It's not his-"

"Don't say that!" Rin snapped. "I'm going to get mad if you do. And yes, Sakura, it _is _his fault. It sucks that his dream was ruined, but what did he do after that? Accept it and try to find his worth in something else? No. He couldn't get over it and instead abused and conveniently blamed you for it. That your lack of presence would have changed absolutely nothing didn't matter to him. He just wanted someone he could blame and take his anger out on. He is repulsive and I want you to stop defending him. And now repeat this: 'It is not my fault that I was abused.'"

"But I-"

"Repeat it."

"It is not my fault that I was abused." Sakura repeated monotonously.

"Good." Rin said firmly. "I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable and it's probably bad to make you say something you don't really mean, but I hate to see that you blame yourself for something that was not your fault. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Her younger sister looked down. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not in the mood for jokes, Sakura." Rin told her dryly.

"Eh?" Sakura blinked, before her eyes squinted in realization. "Oh. Old Habits die hard." She smiled apologetically. "I assume Tokiomi and Aoi Tohsaka are not alive anymore."

"Father died in the Fourth War." The older girl had a feeling that asking why she called father and mother by their names wasn't a good idea. "And someone attacked mother. She didn't die, but she wasn't herself anymore. Always talking to people that weren't there. Brain damage."

"I see." Rin winced a little at Sakura's tone. She obviously wasn't very upset over this. "Do you know who did it?"

"Kirei said he saw Berserker's Master running away from the scene of crime."

"You sound upset. Are you angry at him?" Sakura asked.

"At whom?" Her sister asked. "Berserker's Master? Yeah. Kirei? I guess a little." She admitted. "He said pursuing Berserker's Master would have been his death. I don't blame him for not doing so. It really would have been suicide to go after Master and Servant on his own. He also explained that he lost his own Servant much earlier and father lost his own Servant shortly before his death."

"I see. Then why are you angry at him?"

"I don't know. I guess I feel he could have protected him and mother better." She shrugged.

"Do you know what happened to Berserker's Master?" Sakura asked.

"Kirei said he looked like he wouldn't make it much longer." Rin said. "I don't know why that guy let it happen to him, but the strain of having to sustain Berserker probably just killed him eventually. "

"I see. Where is Aoi Tohsaka now?"

"Dead." The answer was blunt. "She died three years ago. In March."

"Father died three years ago as well. Also in March." Sakura said.

"You don't seem very sad about it." Rin pointed out, although she had a feeling why her sister wasn't sad about it.

"He ignored me for the most part. He was the one who oversaw my... training in the basement."

The black-haired girl wrinkled her nose in disgust. "I can't believe how good father used to speak about the Matou family."

"I don't believe my adoptive father was a cruel man. I believe he would have rather liked to be somewhere else instead of overseeing my training." Sakura explained.

"Yeah? Then let's just call him passive and pathetic." Rin suggested. "I'm surprised that you haven't gone crazy yet, to be honest." She said bluntly.

"Sometimes after especially bad days, I considered suicide." Sakura closed her eyes. "But I was never brave enough to do it."

"You can see it like that." Rin frowned. "Or you could see it like this: You were brave enough not to kill yourself. You hoped things might become better, even if you didn't believe they would. Right?"

Sakura fidgeted uncomfortably. "I don't like to think about these things."

"Then think about this: It's over. I'm going to beat Zouken and you will never have to worry about being abused by any of the Matou ever again." She looked into her sister's purple eyes as she tried to reassure her. "It's a promise."

_"Yeah... it's a promise. You will definitely see them again."_

'A promise?' Sakura couldn't help but think cynically as she thought back to her uncle's words. 'A promise is meaningless.' Out loud she simply said: "Thank you."

"You don't believe me." Rin determined. "Do you? And don't claim you do to make me feel better."

The younger girl poured some of the remaining tea into her cup. "I want to believe you." She said. "But it's hard."

"That's okay." Rin smirked, taking a sip of her own, still half-filled, cup. "I'll show you. And then you'll have to tell me how amazing I am."

"I could tell you as much right now if you wanted me to." Sakura smiled.

Rin's smirk got wider. "I'm starting to think I'm as popular with the ladies as I am with the guys." There were a few seconds of silence before she said: "Well. That was awkward."

"A little bit." Sakura admitted. "Have you ever considered it?" She asked her sister hesistantly.

"What, going out with another girl? Hmm." Rin looked thoughtful. "Not really. But I never gave romance much thought anyway. You?"

"I think I used to have a crush on Mitsuzuri-senpai ." The blushing girl admitted. "It was nothing serious, but she..." Sakura paused, trying to find the right words. "She never treated me like I was made of porcelain. Even though she always helped me out or asked me if anything was wrong, Mitsuzuri-senpai still didn't treat me like I was fragile. And she was very kind to me." She smiled shyly. "And sometimes when she showed me how to shoot properly, when she got behind me, held my hand and whispered into my ear, then my cheeks would start to heat up and I would feel dizzy." Sakura's cheeks flushed even redder as she saw Rin's smile. "Um... but it was nothing special."

"You two would make a cute couple." Rin stated, ignoring Sakura's stammered denials. "I'm friends with Mitsuzuri-san."

The younger girl nodded. "I've noticed."

"Jealous?" Rin asked teasingly.

"Back then? Maybe a little bit." Sakura admitted. "But not anymore."

"I promised her I'd never tell you, but she called you pretty and cute several times." Rin told her, rolling her eyes at the memory. "And never tell her that! I don't want to imagine what she'd do to me."

"That's not something you have to worry about." Sakura said, her tone unusually dry. "Everyone would die of old age before I finished."

"You just have to be more bold, Sakura." Her older sister admonished jokingly. "Shy is not everyone's type. Mitsuzuri-san might like it though. Since she found you cute and all that."

"... She really did-?"

"Yes." Rin said. "Yes, she did. And I'm going to call the ambulance if your face gets even redder."

"What is your type?" Sakura asked, mostly to change the topic, but also curiously.

"Never thought about it." Rin drank the rest of her tea. "Honestly? I don't see the point in thinking about it. If I meet someone I like, I'll know what to do. Do you get me?"

"I think so." Although she didn't really sound very certain. Sakura drank the rest of her tea as well. She lightly gasped as she felt her sister's head on her shoulder for the second time this evening. "Um, s- Rin?"

"I'm tired." The adressed girl murmured. Just like earlier, Rin's head slid down until it was resting on Sakura's legs.

"Then I'll wake you up when senpai and..." She considered how she should call the Einzbern girl for a moment. "Ilya-san arrive."

"Mhm." Came the mumbled response from the usually dignified Tohsaka heiress. Sakura smiled slightly.

Silence filled the air again, but for the first time since her sister had found her in the rain, Sakura didn't feel at all uncomfortable with it.

XXX

The night air felt crisp, cool and oddly refreshing to Rider as she stood on the Tohsaka mansion's roof. Her Spirit form was convenient, but sometimes she had the desire to feel the wind rushing across her face and hair. It made her feel alive.

It was not like she could never appreciate Aeolus' work in her life before becoming a "Heroic" (she always got confused how anyone could consider her "heroic" when she thought about this) Spirit, but it was hard to really appreciate anything after being turned into a monster by that minx Athena sometimes. Since then people had been treating her with nothing but contempt, fear and hatred.

Sakura Matou was the only person who had been truly nice to her for a long time now. Sympathy for the poor girl's situation helped, but it was the shy and soft kindness that really endeared her to the magenta-haired woman.

She hoped Rin Tohsaka and Shirou Emiya would stay true to their words. Rider did not doubt the two teenagers' words back when she asked them about their reasons for protecting Sakura, but she knew quite well how fickle a human's mind could be, as determined as both of them had seemed. She would have to be especially careful around the young Tohsaka heiress and the red knight... who was currently approaching her.

"Enjoying the night?" Servant Archer asked conversationally.

"Up until now, yes." She answered tonelessly, not really in the mood to talk.

"That's harsh." But the white-haired man grinned in spite of her rather cold words. "I guess a talkative ally was too much to hope for."

"Oh?" Rider's lips curled up in a small smile. "If you want to talk so badly, why not talk to your Master?"

She heard Archer scoff. "Our Masters are too busy making out with each other to pay attention to anything else."

She tilted her head curiously. "Are they, really?"

"No, but get used to me saying these kind of things." He chuckled. "I'm never going to let Rin live that one down. Never."

"She must be lucky to have a charming and pensive Servant like you."

"Quite." The red knight said, seemingly agreeing with her sarcastic remark. "Rin likes her though. And not only in the sisterly way, even if she might not have realized it yet. What do you think?"

"I think Sakura is in a hard position. She does not want Rin Tohsaka to risk her life for her. However, she clearly enjoys the feeling of being protected by her beloved older sister." Rider explained, although she had a slight feeling the other Servant knew all of this as well. It wasn't a very hard thing to figure out after all.

"Obviously." Archer looked at her thoughtfully. "So are you trying to tell me that Sakura might have similiar feelings towards Rin?"

"I think she might-"

"No." Rin Tohsaka's Servant interrupted her. "No, you think Sakura might mistake her gratefulness and happiness at being protected and receiving Rin's affection for love? Is that right?"

"Yes." Rider said quietly. "I think so. And there is something else as well. Sakura might know that she does not return your Master's love for her, but will act like she does out of guilt and gratitude."

"Hm." Archer frowned. "Not unlikely. But all we can do is assume. We don't even know for sure that Rin feels so strongly about Sakura, so it shouldn't matter until we know more."

Rider nodded. "It should not matter to us, yes. They are certainly not going to be foolish enough to indulge in their desires before the War ends." A bit startled, she looked at the suddenly laughing Archer for the first time of this discussion in slight surprise. "What is so funny?"

Archer regained his composure after a few seconds. He looked at Rider as if she was the most naive person on the planet. "Clearly, you were never a teenager."

Rider frowned, and Archer started to laugh again.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Not much happened, but I hope you appreciated Rin's and Sakura's talk this chapter. I mean, the fic is supposed to be about that pairing, so it would be pretty unreasonable if they never interacted. XD

Also, this is one thing I'm not quite sure of yet, I consider making a Yuri fic where I'm going to write fluffy or lemony Yuri one-shots whenever I feel like it. I don't know why I'm itching to write Saber x Sakura (for example), but since when does shipping make much sense? ... If you haven't noticed already, I love Yuri.

Criticism if always appreciated and I'd be quite interested in what you think of my idea that I'm going to call Unlimited Yuri Works from now on (yes, I'm totally uncreative, why do you ask?) as well.

As always, have a lovely day!


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